More Mixed Silly Jokes

Published by in Humor
7th Feb 2013

Two Parrots sitting on a perch and one says to the other ‘Can you smell any fish up here?’

What is the average woman’s definition of a fisherman? A long rod with a worm dangling on one end of it and an idiot holding onto the other end.

Two cats were talking about tennis.  One said to the other ‘I haven’t got the guts to play that game as it is a right racket.

What do you call a large fish enticing people to borrow money?  Answer – A loan shark.

I knew a baker who could not earn any money at all with his baking.  He was existing on the bread line

I invited a gay friend of mine for some afternoon tea the other day and I had to make sure I had some fairy cakes (just a joke – no offence)

Read more in Humor« Monkey and Me

How do you make a man suceed? Answer;-   Make him put some budgie or pigeon food in his mouth first

The local police at home must be busy walking dogs around all day.  They tell me that they are always looking for leads

What is the difference between some one who is very fat and person wanting desperately to something new Answer;-   One is trying to diet and the other one is dying to try it.

I had an argument with my boss the other day because I left the kettle on by accident and we couldn’t see where we were going once we went into the kitchen.  He was getting all steamed up about it.  He went mad the other day because when he asked me to put the lamp standard on I said in all honesty ‘It won’t fit me’.

I have got a mouse that just wont eat any cheese at all.  It is because it is a computer mouse.

When I was in the hospital the other week the surgeon put a little pussy to roam around on my chest for about held an hour.  I asked him why was this and what was the purpose.  He smiled and said ‘I think you need a cat scan’

Two astronauts in space were talking about the weather on earth when one of them said ‘I have no idea on moon about it

Certain musical notes have to have a crown and pips shown by them.  This is because they hold the rank of Major keys

I was asked by my wife to buy a present with diamonds in it – so I bought her a pack of playing cards

I knew a plumber whose speciality was repairing toilets with broken chains etc.  After a while he was flushed with success and had to learn how to handle it all.

I went to the museum the other day and saw a stuffed dummy there with her children.  I have never seen a mummy be so quiet when she had a lot of children around her before.

A goat was running around shouting for her child.  She was asking around ‘Has anybody seen my kid?’

One camel was arguing with another came who ran off after a while because by then it just got the hump

Leslie Lewis