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Most Annoying Facebook Friends

Published by Amber Denise in Humor
August 13th, 2012

A list of people that make us regret ever hitting the "add friend" button.

We all have (or have had) certain friends on Facebook that make us want punch the screen every time they post. If you’re lucky, they are just an acquaintance or even just a random add and you can unfriend them and never have to read another of their unbearable status updates again. Sometimes the offender is someone close to us and we just have to deal with them. Either way, here is a list of the most annoying types of people ever to sign up for Facebook. 

Image via CrunchBase

  • The DJ – These are the people who will shamelessly plaster your news feed with one horrible music video after another. If you discover an amazing new song or band, or even if you just have a random ditty stuck in your head and you feel the need to share it with the world, that’s fine. If you feel the need to play every crappy song you’ve ever heard over the course of an hour, please don’t. Nobody wants to sift through 109 pointless YouTube videos to see what the rest of their friends are up to. 
  • The Mystery Writer – I have a few of these particular people on my friends list and they irritate the fool out of me. Every status they post grabs your attention, but they are so vague you have no idea what they’re talking about. They post things like “So mad!!!” or “I just got the best news ever!” or “WHY?!”…and that’s it. This wouldn’t be so bad if they would actually answer the 57 comments asking the same question over and over, but they never do. Ever. They just leave you hanging. Obviously it is their business and they are not obligated to tell every little detail of their lives, but why post anything at all if you don’t plan on divulging any information???
  • The Doting Mom – I have two beautiful kids that I love more than I ever thought I could love anything in my entire life. I am so proud of them and I love showing them off. I post cute little pictures of them and post funny little anecdotes about them and share all of their little milestones. I completely understand other parents wanting to show off their little ones, but some tend to go a little overboard. These are the moms who post 50 of the same picture over and over again. “Here’s little Suzie sleeping…here she is still sleeping….here she is sleeping again, but with her head turned slightly to the left.” These are the moms who update their status every time their kid breathes. “Little Johnny lost his 13th tooth today” “Little Johnny scraped his knee at recess” “Little Johnny had a bowel movement” Nobody cares. Seriously. Stop.
  • The Model – This Facebooker rarely posts anything of interest. Instead, they seem to spend their days in front of a mirror with their camera phone snapping duckface photos to litter our news feeds with. I have no problem with people posting pictures of themselves. In fact, I enjoy it. I don’t see my friends nearly as often as I would like, so it’s nice to see their smiling faces every now and then. However, “every now and then” does not mean every hour on the hour. 

And finally…

  • The Pity Party Host – Bad things happen to good people for absolutely no reason other than that the universe just isn’t on your side some days. I understand that. I have my fair share of bad luck. However, the pity party host takes this to the extreme. Every single post is a sob story of their unfortunate lives and how depressed they are. It gets worse though. If at least ten people don’t comment within a 2 minute window expressing their sympathy and concern, this person goes on a tyrade abiut how nobody likes them and nobody cares about them and blah blah blah. Depression is real. I’ve battled it myself and I sympathise with anyone else who struggles with it. However, there’s a big difference between true depression and just wanting attention. Unfortunately, most fall into the latter catergory.

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