My daughter is ready to storm the Canadian border.  That’s right-we could be on the verge of an international incident. 

Lexie’s class was involved in the Binx the Bear project this year.  Binx is a teddy bear who started his journey in Canada.  He traveled from classroom to classroom in several different countries.  All the kids in each classroom brought something that represented their country, and gave it to Binx to take with him to his next location.  That way, all of the kids in other countries could learn about the places Binx had traveled, and what children were like in those countries.  I thought it was pretty creative, and the kids really responded to it. 

Lexie LOVED Binx.  She even made him a Valentine.  She thought this project was pretty much the ultimate in cool.  So what’s the problem?

Lexie is furious because “CANADA GETS TO KEEP BINX!”  I tried to explain to her that since Binx started his trip in Canada, he is probably a Canadian and as such, would like to return to his native country, because he misses it.  She wasn’t havin’ none of it.  I told her that returning Binx to Canada was a condition of participating in the project, and that didn’t hold any water with her either.  As far as she’s concerned, Canada is full of selfish bear-hogging bastards, and they can all choke on their maple syrup.  She thinks that someone ought to just go get Binx and bring him back to her class-by force if necessary.  I asked her, “But what about the Canadian children-if you go get Binx or keep him, they’ll never find out about all of the countries he visited and the things he learned there.”  Her response?  To look at me like I’m stupid and say, “I don’t care!”

That’s my Baby-future Goodwill Ambassador to The Isle of Go Screw Yourselves.  I shudder to think that my daughter could ever become president.  I know how that would go down. 

U.N. GUY:  Madame President, you promised that the United States would send aid to these countries and-

LEX:  Did I?  Oh.  Well that was then.  I decided I don’t care and they’re getting nothing.  Sucks to be them.

U.N. GUY:  Madame President!  You can’t just back out on an international treaty-

LEX:  Oh yeah?  Watch me.  Now quit bothering me, I’ve got these missles pointed toward Canada-I’m trying to get back a bear.  NOW we’ll see who’s keeping what, won’t we you pine-forest smellin’ sons’a-

Yeah.  I think it would probably end up something like that.