I love horror movies. I particularly enjoy old, horror films like the Mummy, Dracula, and Frankenstein. I once saw the movie the Bride of Frankenstein. I’ve put together a list of things that you should never say to the Bride of Frankenstein. Here is my chilling list:

1. You’re looking rather revolting
2. So you fell for tall, dark, and dead
3. Do you have a bird’s nest on top of your hairdo?
4. I think you need to see a manicurist immediately
5. Do you enjoy taking a walk in the graveyard?
6. I really think that you could use a complete makeover
7. You’re not really ugly. You’re just hideous and ghoulish.
8. So what do you do with Frankenstein when you want to have fun? I see. You like to play leapfrog over the graves.
9. I love your makeup. It leaves your skin so nice and pale.
10. So what kind of job do you have? No don’t tell me. Let me guess. You work for the government and once had an affair with Bill Clinton. I bet that Frankenstein was very angry.
11. Why do you have such a far away look? Are you planning to go to a burial ceremony? You appear to be a little stiff
12. What’s your favorite meal? Do you enjoy squash? No, but your husband does
13. I’ve heard that you are having a secret affair with Dracula. Don’t worry, I’m not telling. You might want to do something about those bite marks around your neck.