New Year’s Resolutions for My Kids

One: I will get my homework done before its actually due. I will no longer wait until ten pm on a Sunday night to actually start it, or on the bus on the way to school.

Two: When the dog that I begged my parents for needs to be walked I will be the one to walk to it. Not my Mom.

Three: At least once a week I will pick the dirty clothes up off my floor and take them to the washer/hamper. Maybe I will actually learn how to do my own laundry before I go to college.

Four: At least once a week I will visit or call an elderly relative. I won’t wince, whine or complain about smells, hugs, cheek pinches or stale treats. I will just suck it up and remind myself that as unbelievable as it sounds, someday I too will be old and wear socks with sandals.

Five: I will do yard work. If it is winter I will scoop snow. In the summer I will mow grass. I will pick up fallen limbs. I will sweep the porch. Perhaps I will be compensated monetarily, perhaps not, but I will do it anyway.

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Six: I will not complain about the food that my parents have purchased and then prepared for me, no matter how gross I think it is. I will at least try it, and then keep it to myself if it tastes like play-dough or poop.

Seven: I will no longer torment my younger sister/brother by taking their toys and holding them out of reach, telling them they are adopted, or making monster noises outside their bedroom at night. At least I’ll try.

Eight: I will no longer torment my older sister/brother by asking embarrassing questions about their girl friend/ boy friend at the dinner table, telling on them when they come in late, ‘finding’ their dirty magazines, or flushing the toilet when they are in the shower. At least I’ll try.

Nine: When it is my bed time, I will actually go to bed, after brushing my teeth and using the bathroom. I won’t sneak out and make my self a peanut butter sandwich and then pretend I was ’sleep-eating’ after I get caught. I won’t read scary stories in my bed with a flash light and then insist on coming into bed with my parents because I’m scared ‘for no reason’.

And finally:

Ten: I will no longer use any part of the house as an art easel, no matter how white and paper like the walls. I will not use markers, crayons, or my sister’s nail polish to ‘decorate’ no matter how lame I think the wall-paper is.

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