10 Things I’ve Learned From Slasher Movies

Published by Andrew Risch in Satire
September 2, 2008

After watching some old horror movies, I’ve compiled a list of what it takes to survive.

If I have sex, I will die. Horribly.
No matter how fast I am, the killer will always catch up.
Running upstairs is never a good idea.
No matter how tense the situation, girls will always find time to shower.
Never trust anyone in a mask.
Always trust the town kook.
If I partake in illegal drugs, I will die. Horribly.
The electricity can and will go out.
Same thing goes for phones.
You can’t kill a psycho with bullets, knives, electricity, drowning, burning, etc

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