This letter has been adapted from a translation of a fifth century BC standard letter discovered by archaeologists in China , somewhere along the silk route. It is proof that the problem of becoming drunk, making an utter fool of yourself and ruining everybody’s fun – although to be avoided – is nothing new. Surely, it would be far worse if you were the first person ever to do it?!

For more information see “Embarrassing Drunks – which one are you?”

For those of you who have yet to succumb to such bad, regrettable behaviour I offer some advise about the sort of bad drunk that lurks in everybody and some precursors that warn of an upcoming episode. (This is published on trind.com and is entitled Embarrassing Drunks – which one are you?)

Copy and paste the following letter, fill in the blanks and delete as necessary. Perhaps there is someone that could do with a copy – please forward it to them.

Dear ____ (name of person you need to apologise to)

Thank you for inviting me to your wedding/party/house/for dinner (delete as necessary on _____ (fill in date).

Unfortunately I think I may have: caused an argument/said something very rude/did something extremely undignified/broke something very dear to you/fell over and exposed my bare arse/tried to get off with your partner/vomited on your lawn/thought it funny to roll a newspaper into a cone, stick it up my bum and set it on fire (delete one or more as necessary or fill in a brief description of your awful behaviour here ____________

I cannot tell you how sorry I am for my actions and feel the need to assure you that should you ever invite me again to celebrate or partake in any future event I promise that I will not repeat my offence/s (delete if necessary). I want you to know that when I woke this morning and recalled what I could of the incidents last night I blushed deeply and was full of remorse. I am utterly and truly ashamed. If I could travel back in time I would do and I would take back/mend the insults I gave/arguments I caused/precious irreplaceable objects I broke (delete as necessary)

I have no excuse for the way I acted but in mitigation I offer the negative effects of the alcoholic beverages you most kindly supplied.

I sincerely hope that this affair will not cause a rift so large it cannot be mended and that we can remain friends.

Yours in supplication

____________ (fill in your name)