Academics Attack Asterix The Gaul: Bad Move (Satire)

Published by in Satire
14th Nov 2011

I frequently make fun of scientists, mainly because scientists who read blogs get so tetchy and uppity when anyone ridicules their ilk. It is not science we are pissed off by however but smartarseism of the kind that abounds across the whole academic spectrum in Universities. It is nice to know however that the sense of humour by pass brigade, the people who are so far up their own arses they will not see the light until someone cuts their throat, have not just hijacked the arts as well as the sciences in British Universities, they are busy over the Channel teaching fuckwittery to French student as well.

A bunch of Fr ench academics have just revealed (after spending hundreds on man person years and millions of Euros on research do doubt, that there is no historical truth in the stories of Asterix the Gaul (pictured below).

Yes, this person they are getting wound up about is a cartoon character, not a real, historical figure. So what does this tell us? Right; it seems the academics do noit think us poor ordinary Joes and Joesses are capable of understanding there is a difference between a comic book character and a real person in history and so need academics to help tell us what to think.

But never mind that it’s an effing comic strip for a minute. These academics take themselves very seriously and so should we, after all we’re British are in the EU, Amertican banks are exposed to EU nations’ debt. It’s our tax money and savings they’re eating.

The research went down to extraordinary levels of detail, even revealing the favourite food of Asterix and his fellow Gauls, roast wild boar, was not on the Gaulish menu.

Read more in Satire« Bizarre Accidents Lead to Hospital AdmissionsAnybody Know a Good Recipe for Cat Stew? »

But hang on a minute. Roman and early medieval documents show wild boar were plentiful in France and in those days, it not being possible to order a pizza for delivery, pop down to Marks and Spencers for a microwaveable fricassee of ragout or something or simply add boiling water to a pot noodle, are these bonehead professors seriously asking us to believe the Gauls did not hunt wild boar and cook them over open fires?

Well who knows, perhapse the ancient Gauls cooked their meat in moicrowave ovens or popped it on the George Foreman lean mean grilling machine.

Dammit, they’ll be trying to tell us Cinderella is just a fairy story next.

full story

We are too gobsmacked to comment so the last word goes to Asterix himself who has a message for those tax eating academics. Being an ancient Gaul, Asterix does not speak English but can communicate in gestures.

(Asterix picture and animation from copyright free clip art online archive)

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  • marqjonz

    Next they’ll be telling us that Obelix wasn’t real and that Julius Caesar just made him up when he wrote his Commentaries.

  • Ian Thorpe

    And that Star Trek was just a story when we all know it was a documentary. :-)