Actor Johnny Depp Found Dead
Another Celebrity death.
Johnny Depp was found dead in his home late Friday, according to reports. The cause of death is as yet unknown. depp, 46, was discovered by long time partner Vanessa Paradis. There is speculation that his death was caused by…. ah, hell, it doesn’t matter. It’s just another lame article about a rumored celebrity death. Just likeEminem, Miley Cyrus, and about a million other celebrities. Half of these people sucked , and we hadn’t heard from some of them since we stopped caring. Brittany Murphy? Did anyone of us actually shed a tear over her? Yeah, it was sad in that vague “someone I don’t know died” kind of way, but come on.
We’re all human, and humans are pretty morbid. We do some weird sh*t. We like, for example, hearing that people died. Especially famous people. It doesn’t matter if it’s some dude that was on the Wonder Years for 3 weeks… dammit, we want to know when they kick the bucket. Kind of f*cked up, ain’t it? But we do. It’s the reason you clicked on this stupid link. You knew full well Johnny Depp wasn’t dead. The guy is celebrity royalty. They’d be talking about that sh*t on PBS. It would be on the radio every 3 minutes. Popular as he is, there’d be people crying on tv. So you knew. but you clicked… just in case. And you will when someone else pops up dead in two or three days. Because we want to know we’re alive, maybe?
If so, it’s a good way to get it out of our systems. But it isn’t something we want others to know that we do. Which is why, if you look below, you’ll see damn near 200 comments, most of them obscenely offended, and rather righteous. They don’t care that I inferred that JohnnyDepp might have died. They don’t know him, or anyone remotely related to him. They aren’t even really indignant. They’re embarrassed. They got caught with their pants down in public. They were filling that evil little vice, and got bluffed. Hand in the cookie jar. Mad, mad, mad. And so I get people wishing death to my family over a subject no one actually ever really cared about. And I’m the jerk. If you knew just how many people have viewed this article, you’d realize that I’m not the problem. If youclicked onto this article, you’re the problem. At least if you’re one of the ones complaining.
Me? I just sit back and enjoy all of the excess irony.
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