Kingdom Hearts, CA (FAN) — Famous (or infamous, depending on how you look at it) pop star Kanye West has revealed today that the reason for his unpopular image is a cover for his battle against hordes of Heartless.

“Yo dawg,” says Kanye, “so I was like, chillin’ with mah peeps on a beach, and I like, flew threw some water dawg, and I like, got this big key thang, and then this voice was like, yo man, you gotta fight the heartless, but don’t be af–and then I was like, yo, ominous voice, I’m really happy for you and all, and Imma let you finish, but that dude from Saw has the best scary voice OF ALL TIME!!”

Kanye’s hit single, “Heartless,” was inspired by his journey across various Walt Disney worlds.

“How could you be so heartless, that’s asking how you can be a Heartless, ‘cuz I don’t quite get dis [expletive]. How could be so Dr. Evil, that’s a reference to the guy that made the Heartless. I thought it was obvious, but most people don’t have my brilliant creativitiviation, yo.”

“But Obama callin’ me a jackass, that ain’t right, man. I don’t see him hangin’ with Mickey Mouse and killin’ Heartless in Halloween Town.”

Kanye plans to vacation to Under the Sea to escape public outrage after his interruption of Taylor Swift in the MTV Video Music Awards.

“I can’t wait. Gonna get me lotsa fiiine fishsticks.”