Washington, D.C. — George Bush’s attention span has waned to an all-time low level and this time the victim is not just a bunch of throw-away Middle Easterner’s lives. While he was supposed to be preparing a speech for this week’s Republican National Convention, Dick Cheney walked in on George Bush scribbling on one of the most historic desks in US history. Cheney was quoted as saying, ” The Resolute Desk isn’t just some piece of junk desk from Ikea. Do you know how many historically important decisions have been made at that desk? He drew a picture of his dog as well as writing ‘George Rules’ in three dimensional letters.”
When asked if he was sorry the President responded, “Only that I got caught.” This sort of cavalier attitude and disregard for other people’s property is really nothing new. He showed glances on this indifferent manner when going to war with Iraq was first suggested.
Vice-President Cheney was overheard screaming at Bush shortly after the incident occurred. Most notably, certain White House staffers said they heard Cheney tell Bush, “I’m not mad at you. I’m just disappointed.”

As for his punishment, the Vice-President was unsure how to proceed. “ What I am supposed to do?” an obviously frustrated Cheney responded. “ If nothing happens after he’s invaded a country on false pretenses and it’s public knowledge, how can I justify punishing him for these antics? You see my predicament.”

After being asked why he did it, the President responded lazily, “I dunno. Just cause.” His inability to make eye contact with Cheney was the only actual sign of remorse Bush displayed. “ The only other time he was unable to look me in the eye was when he plastic wrapped my toilet. Ruined a perfectly good suit.” When questioned as to whether Bush could turn into a respectable gentleman when he grows up Cheney replied defeatedly, “I just don’t know anymore.”

Leaving the White House Vice-President Cheney could be seen sitting at his desk with a glass of whiskey muttering to himself, “Where did I go wrong?”