This weeks batch of Chinese fortune cookie sayings has to deal with the subject of divorce. To stay or not to stay married? That is the question. Let us see what these sayings have to reveal:

1.   You will soon know what it is like to be Home Alone.

2.   The cupboard is bare. Your checking account is emptied. But at least you have your slippers.

3.   It is easier to split a banana then it is to split from your marriage.

4.   Trust and faith go out the window along with your belongings when you cheat on your wife.

5.   You are about to make a lawyer very wealthy.

6.   The deck was stacked against you when you married your wife in Vegas. Now she has all the aces and all you have left is the two of spades.

7.   Keep your pants on. That’s what almost ended your marriage in the first place.

8.   Divorce is like a radish. It leaves a bitter taste in your mouth.

9.   Flowers will never substitute for twelve years of neglect.

10. The jellyfish is a very deadly creature. A wife that has been cheated upon is just as deadly.

11. The word for today Alimony. Get used to the word. You’re going to see it for a long time.

12. Your get up and go got up and went along with your wife.

13. Thirteen is an unlucky number. Paying thirteen million dollars in alimony is even worse.

14. Irreconcilible differences is a polite way of saying, “We hate each other.”

15. The Titanic sunk quicker then your marriage but not by much.

Image by mind on fire via Flickr