Coach Girl

I fell in love this afternoon. It hit me suddenly when I checked my mail. There in my mailbox was the Coach Spring catalog! The purse on the cover shouted out my name. Then it whispered seductively promising me glory.

It is a tangerine leather hobo bag and I think I am going to die, if I cannot possess it. I can see myself strutting around the mall and receiving envious stares. I want it. I need it. I will do anything to get this latest Coach purse.

I admit to being obsessed four times a year with each new season of Coach Catalogs. If Jeopardy had a Coach category I would win insane amounts of money. I would say “Coach Purses for ten million Alex.” Alex Trebek would read “I am a bohemian pattern with red random material.” I would quickly respond “What is the Coach 2007 Holiday Collection?”

Yes, this latest Coach purse that I crave is meant to be mine. Why else would it be plastered on the cover of a catalog that I find in my mailbox? Isn’t that melon color absolutely heavenly? I do long to brush my hand across its supple leather body.

I know it is on the cover for a reason. I believe in karma and this purse is meant to live its life with me.

It is $500.

Five-hundred dollars? Well, it is Coach, genuine merchandise and it comes with the little Coach tag on the gold chain. Included also is the traditional brown coverlet that allows it to be stored and kept clean.

The cost is a bit high, but surely not extravagant. I have bought several beautiful Coach purses already this year and I need a sibling for the incomplete family. I can’t ignore it!

I looked at the photos and I feel it crying out to me. It longs to be a member of my Coach collection. How can I deny this purse the same opportunities that I have given the others?

It is a “Pleated Framed Satchel” and it looks very roomy too. The Ergo design won’t make my shoulder ache. This is quite a selling point. I already own a shiny brown Ergo Coach purse with gold hardware, so I can vouch for the comfort!

But I need $500.

I could stand on the corner. Perhaps I could hold open one of my other Coach purses to collect the cash. I would carry a sign that said, “Woman in desperate need of a new Spring Collection Coach purse, please contribute to my therapy.”