Every year my grandma always gets me an ornament for the Christmas tree and this year she wanted me to get her and grandpa one instead. I said, “Ok, that sounds fine”. So I went down to my least favorite store in the world the other day, Hallmark.

I get down to the two-room store and there are eight people, nine if you include me. Five store clerks, a mother and her child, me, and the same lady whose dog I almost hit while driving to Hallmark. I don’t have a clue how she beat me here, but whatever. Two of the clerks were at the cash machine, two were restocking the cards, and the fifth one came to help me despite the other two people getting there first. I’m already annoyed standing there because I hate that “Feliz Navidad” song by that corny Mexican guy playing and there’s some crushed chocolate under my shoe that came out of a bag labeled “Reindeer Poop”.

I tell the clerk my grandma likes cats, grandpa likes Star Trek, and I need ornaments. I didn’t think they would actually have anything on Star Trek. I was only joking, but there was a ribbon tied to a Star Trek “Transporting Chamber” ornament next to a Santa petting a kitten ornament right behind me, next to each other. I grab them, get in line, buy them, and as I’m leaving the kid a mentioned earlier was begging his mom to buy him the Reindeer, Snowman, and Penguin Poop Candy Value Pack. He looks up and tells his mom, “Look mommy, just like the stuff I had at the parade with the horses”! I really hope he meant chocolate fudge…