What does the future hold for our once glorious nation? As we peek into the year 2020 to see just what lies in store, it is indeed a grim sight that beholds us:

Power is now firmly in the hands on the uneducated, heavily armed, juvenile delinquents, lovingly nurtured into hardcore, violent criminals by the namby-pamby New Labour ex-government, and their open refusal to punish crime. Statistics show less than 20% of the population are British born, and Christianity – having been replaced by radical Islam – is an underground religion, practiced secretly by those too narrow-minded to embrace change (old people… they’re all the same). Council houses are reserved exclusively for gypsies, asylum-seekers and convicted paedophiles (there’s no point sending them to prison, they’re just ill); inner-city areas resemble scenes from District 9.

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Education (in the few areas it’s still available) is a guarded operation, with teachers sitting behind bullet-proof glass, children wearing full body-armour, and an army of translators at the ready. The NHS collapsed years ago, under the strain of immigration, and health-care is now administered solely by African witch-doctors. Civilised adults have resorted to leaving their securely boarded-up homes only in large gangs, or in tanks, provided by the army (while completely unsuitable for use in the war against Afghanistan, they seem to protect adequately enough from children). The army itself is now boasting such fine military planners as the two jolly nice prospective young terrorists found not guilty of planning, threatening, and owning all the materials necessary, to blow up their school, in the hope of killing hundreds of innocent school friends and teachers. They were cured with activity weekends and free games consoles, paid for by tax-payers – like their teachers, and the parents of their school-friends…

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The newly elected Lib-Dem government - voted in after the late Conservative leader, David Cameron, was discovered to be nothing but a holographic image, projected by the President of America (as was Tony Blair), in a deliberate attempt to control our country from afar – are importing drugs, which they swapped for arms with the Afghans, and dropping them into the city streets in order to keep the children as calm and controlled as possible. They still believe there’s some way out of this mess… they always were an optimistic bunch.

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Anyone who was able to (including the entire New Labour government – who grew rich from robbing the people, and the entire Conservative party – for whom it’s always been mandatory to own a castle, with a moat) jumped ship years ago. Now only the poorest (and the craziest) of the once proud population remain, along with millions of visually-impaired elderly folk who were imprisoned up to a decade ago, for recycling offences (such as accidentally disposing of a potato peeling in the box designated for tin cans).

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Suicide by wheelie bin is now the only option.

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