How to Prepare for a Zombie Apocalypse

You are probably thinking along the same lines of a Y2K sort of preparedness model. Yes, a lot of the same things apply, but there are some differences.

  • First, food. This needs to be non-perishable and easy to get into. Forget cans that need a can-opener, way too slow. Go for easy to open and re-closeable bags, and go for the high energy food with protein and carbs. Beef Jerky, crackers, dried fruit and nuts-all good. It’s also good if your packages are small and will easily fit into pockets and a backpack.

  • Water. This will be a get it as you go item, but the first thing you need is a carriable size of water bottle. There is no way you can carry a big bottle of water and still out run the zombie hoard, so think small and squeezable, like a liter at most. Keep it full and ready.

  • Cargo pants. Not just a fashion statement. Cargo pants have pockets and lots of them. Each pocket is another little window to your survival and can be filled with all sorts of useful items, like tools, ammo, weapons, food, etc.

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    A backpack. Nothing fancy, but big enough to hold a small blanket or jacket, a water bottle, ammo, food packs and anything else you might need or find as you loot your way through fallen civilization.

  • A blunt weapon. This could be a sturdy baseball bat or a handy shovel, or a billy club. Whatever strikes your fancy, and whatever will break skulls or kneecaps when swung. I would say that a foldable shovel, the kind you can find in an army surplus store for digging fox holes, will fit into the backpack and will serve multiple purposes. However, if you leave it folded up in the backpack it is often less accessible that a baseball bat when zombies are trying to eat your brains, so think about your options.

  • A range weapon. Don’t for one second think that a shotgun is going to be your most valuable item. You are not Bruce Campbell, and you will run out of ammo. However, a good shotgun, or high-powered hunting rifle, are not bad things to have around. When choosing a gun, consider two things. Will I be able to carry this long distances, with extra ammo in my cargo pants, and will I be able to fire it accurately? Don’t buy a gun if you don’t know how to take the safety off. Another thing to consider is that a small handgun can fit into the backpack or cargo pants.


  • I wouldn’t say no to cans though- there is a trick to open them without using a can-opener, just a flat smooth stone surface is all*concrete is easiest*(rub the top of the can on it for awhile and it simply comes undone).

    I’d also say a good pump action or semi-auto .22 rifle is far better than a hand gun- ammo is crazy cheap(and light),and you can use it to pick off zombies in the distance easily. That is to say if I thought using guns in a zombie(slow) situation was wise, but I don’t. Melee only would be my rules.

    I’ve even got a handy system of dispatching them safely with “silent” melee weapons: One person impales the zombie with a long pitch fork, trident, or boar spear and holds it in place, the other goes up behind it and severs the head with a bladed weapon, preferably a large kukri blade. One person using a spear(to impale the brain directly) would be wise as well. Better yet, if you approved of using guns, a spike bayonet on the rifle would probably be best.

    Personally. I’d travel alone, with a 6 pound splitting maul( I know many people think that they would be to tiring to use, but I can actually swing them one handed myself, so tiring out would not be an issue :D ) a kukri machete, plus a a couple of tanto blades.

    For the average person, I’d recommended a war-hammer as being the best weapon to use as in a zombie apocalypse.

    As you can see, I spend a lot of time thinking about a zombie apocalypse. ;)

  • Make sure that won’t get in the way of you dispatching me, If I turn into a Zed(Unlikely I’d become one though, as I’ve been known to fight off hordes with nothing more than a loaf of bread…. :P

  • Personally I perfer the slice ‘n’ dice option to the warhammer. To this end I am learning Nakamura Ryu battodo. so far I have just a blunt practice katana called an iaito. Eventually I will need a profer sharp cutting shinken. It was last year that our instructor, Mat, just happened to say we were learning this in order to be prepared for the zombie apocalyse…I have a family do defend!

  • I think the real question is are these zombies 28 Days Later zombies or The Walking Dead zombies? Because surely that makes all the difference. Great article anyway haha.

  • Hehe, ditto. And make sure to just leave my body on the ground; if you spend a bunch of time digging my grave, it may just turn out to be your own… :O

    Oh and scratch my list of weapons I’d choose- I’d trade them all in for this bad boy:

    “Smashy, smashy”.Then I could say I used my “fists” to take down all of the undead :D

    I think I am actually going to buy me one of those….

  • Wiggles-Nah. I have to go with the warhammer idea. Hammer on one end, spike on the other, and usually a good counter weight at the end for the backswing. Of course you have to be careful not to get the spike stuck in a skull or ribcage. Serious damage though.
    @Dragon-I have done some Kendo, and I have to say that a Kitana would be a bit of all right. But an oak bokken would also be handy. I’ve done some serious damage with mine. Portable, easy to clean, sturdy…

  • I have a solution to the whole “spike getting stuck in the skull/other places” scenario: Have a war hammer that has a short 2 inch long(1 inch base) pyramidal spike(one that tapers all the way from tip to handle)That way the spike cannot become stuck :D

    V vs. <NNN

  • AHAHAH! my preferable range weapon of choice would be a hunting sniper rifle, melee would be my samurai sword on my back and my customed crafted baseball bat with metal spikes on the end(i like weapons). I would travel in small groups like 3-4 people, i would carry a hunting knife and gladly cut off sumones bitten arm to get rid of the infection(including my own) if its too late ill just kill them, take their supplies n leave them on the ground.

  • I would hope I was in Russia at the time. Nothing says I will survive like enough nukes to blow up the world over. Besides, no one uses them, they just sit there, cause there waiting…

  • Ahh, so you could get the real deal. I myself am just getting into the craft of making bladed weapons(Mainly tomahawks and knives[‘hawks be better to use than a traditional axe because you could have a spike on the other end, plus they are very, very light{utilitarian purposes too}]).

    Those older ones off eBay would be good. I’ve looked at the older WW2 machetes on there before, and would rather have one of them than most newer ones made today. Full tang on everyone for sure.

    I’d probably even rip off the wooden(rubber casing, etc) scales from the tang and just wrap it with a bunch of leather chord. I like that grip better, plus you could unravel the chord and use it for something later on if you needed too.

    @Wiggles-Any spike has the potential of getting stuck, even a straight tapered one. In looking over the options, I think a kitana and a baseball bat, aluminum, and skip the warhammer. Bat is easier to swing and I could do it for longer periods of time.
    @Bruce. I would just set my hair on fire with a flame thrower. Nobody wants that.

  • The problem with katana’s and all the other over-hyped swords are the price and availability. Who has thousands of dollars to just up and buy a real one?(those 100-1000 dollar ones will break very soon, due to improper production, heat treatments, etc…) And finding a real one is tough…Also, not many people can maintain the edge so they can easily cut off and through heads. A good strong machete will actually still be able to do the job once it goes dull(the spine and the dull edge will be able to crack skull), kitana’s and other super light and sharp swords will usually be useless when they are dull.

    Believe it or not, those aluminum bats will actually bend and break pretty fast themselves. Plus, you have to swing them harder than other weapons to get enough force to break a skull(due to the shape, rounded spreads force evenly among the skull[less force means less chance of cracking], a corner or edge will focus the force to one point and do better.

    If you took a 3-4 foot long 2X4 and cut some off for a handle, it would be a better option than a regular aluminum bat. If weight is an issue, the best route would be to use a gunstock war-club(no spike), or a ball-headed war club(all wooden, no stone). The wooden ball headed war club can easily be made from hard-wood saplings that you find.

    Still…A (short-wide)pyramidal spike will not be able to become stuck, because as it goes it, it will always create an opening larger than the spike portion that is already in the skull. It is more like it is creating a bowl in the skull(and if you were to move the handle the spike would roll out) , and not a slot(like the other spikes create, which get stuck, because the opening is the same size as the rest of the spike in the skull).

    Fire is rarely useful for Z’s; unless you are in some concrete structure of some sort, and can throw down Molotov’s, do not use fire.

  • @Wiggles-Still have to go with the bat, for the simple reason that it is balanced well already and easy to swing for hours because of that. Any mace option, or even a bokken, also a good choice, would be a little difficult to swing for hours and hours, which is a potential in any Z incursion. Yeah, a kitana is expensive. I happen to live with a sword maker, who can fold steal and is VERY good at making his blades, and we have some on hand. Not useful to buy a decorative piece from Pakistan, like many you can get off the rack. There are some good ones on Ebay at the moment, WWII era. Better to buy a good machete, just make sure the tang goes all the way through the handle so the blade won’t snap off. If you are planning to use something, don’t buy crap is the rule here. That results in you and your family getting eaten.

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