I’m a baby, get me out of here

Okay ,so we get a group of pregnant celebrities and we drop them on an island in the middle of nowhere. The last one to pop wins. Deadly!

I’m a Multiple Personality Disorder, get me out of hear

Okay, so we get a load of Multiple Personality Disorder celebrities and we drop them on an island in the middle of nowhere and watch as each deranged personality springs forth to fight for dominance. Oh…oh… oh even better, pick the right person and we only need one celebrity for the entire show. Brilliant and cheap!

I’m a celebrity shit, get me out of here

Okay so this one is a bit nasty I’ll admit. But what a show! Lots of constipated celebs fighting over the toilet! And of course if all the advertisements for constipation pills we see on the telly are right well then the celebrity’s will all be gorgeous looking women… with a secret. Shush…

I’m a Presidential Candidate, get me out of here

Okay, so this is really only for all you Americans out there. This time we get all our hopefuls and after we drop them on an island we give each of them a weapon of their choice and let them fight it out. The winner gets to run the country for four years. The only problem with this is that I suspect that Hilary Clinton would be president for ever…

I’m a Millionaire, get me out of here

This is a real easy one. Find any millionaires left and drop them in to the middle of the financial district and watch them fight to get out with any of their money left. A true reality show that’s played out every day on the news!

I’m an Iraqi, get me out of here

Another no-brainer here! We get anyone who even looks middle-eastern and I do mean anyone; even Frank from accounts who has a bit of tan from his European vacation will do. We drop them in any southern American state with nothing more than some dodgy looking currency, a roll of wire and a towel to block the heat from their heads and we watch them run.

I’m a Committed serial killer, get me out of here

For this one we drop a committed serial killer in any big city. We then get all the writers of shows like Bones, CSI, Cold Case, and such like and we set them on the hunt. The first team to catch the killer before he manages ten kills wins.

I’m a Love Cheat, get me out of here

We’re back to all those loveable celebrities again. This time we entrap a group of them in Honey, drug and drunk-driving traps. The one who manages to convince the tabloids that they are innocent, without having to enter any kind of rehab clinic of any kind, wins.

I’m a patient, get me out of here

The visuals of this show would be truly wonderful. We get a group of regular Joes and send them to some celebrity plastic surgeons. Their task is to get out of the clinics without having to remortgage their house to pay for plastic surgery they didn’t need in the first place. Extra points will be given to any who also make it out with any self esteem left.

I’m a nostril hair, get me out of here.

I just love this one. We get a load of hard up B-celebrities and we line them up. One by one each has their nostril hairs removed with a tweezers, one by one. The Celeb who hangs in the longest is the winner.

Any producers who wish to use any of these truly great ideas please send a ridiculously large check and the idea is yours.