Querrian; Hello, everyone. I am here today with everyone’s favorite tights clad hero, Robin Hood.

Robin Hood: Peace.

Querrian: Yes. Peace be with you. Thank you. We can frolic and be merry.

Robin Hood: Hey, are you one of those?

Querrian: Me? No. What?

Robin Hood: Hey, it’s all cool with me. You know?

Querrian: Sure, sure. Thank you, Mr. Hood. Well, have a seat and we can discuss your life in Sherwood Forest, shall we?

Robin Hood: Sure, Q. Anything you say.

Querrian; Now let’s get right down to it, shall we? So you stole from the rich.

Robin Hood: And gave to the poor. Yes. Yes indeed. That’s what I did.

Querrian: So you believe in the redistribution of wealth, then?

Robin Hood: What did you call it?

Querrian: It’s a socialist philosophy whereby all parties -

Robin Hood: Look, I don’t know anything about that stuff.

Querrian: So you say this wasn’t a political statement?

Robin Hood: Political activism wasn’t that common in the shire.

Querrian: I see. And who were the poor who received your generosity?

Robin Hood: The poor.

Querrian: But who were they? Friends of yours, perhaps?

Robin Hood: So what are you saying?

Querrian: Just inquiring about who the benefactors were of your criminal deeds.

Robin Hood: Now you say I’m a criminal?

Querrian: Well, theft was a crime in Nottingham shire, was it not?

Robin Hood: Are you a cop?

Querrian: Of course not.

Robin Hood: “Cause I don”t think I should be talking to you without my lawyer present.

Querrian: OK, we can move on.

Robin Hood: Get my boys after you. I got a band of Merry Men, you know.

Querrian: There’s no need for that, I assure you.

Robin Hood: Haven’t heard from the Sheriff of Nottingham lately, have you?

Querrian: Well, I don’t suppose -

Robin Hood: Little John takes care of things for me, you see.

Querrian: I understand. I understand. No need for Little John to do that or anything. This is just an interview.

Robin Hood: OK.

Querrian: We all good?

Robin Hood: We’re cool, Q. We’re cool.

Querrian: OK, then. Good.

Robin Hood: Hey, you ain’t recording this or anything, are you?

Querrian: No. Uh, of course not. Uh, what would give you that impression?

Robin Hood: OK, then.

Querrian: So anyway. Legend says that you became an outlaw – or a freedom fighter shall we say – when King Richard went off on the Third Crusade.

Robin Hood: True. King Richard was to return. But meanwhile, back in Nottingham shire, something was amuck.

Querrian: Like his brother John.

Robin Hood: Exactly.

Querrian: So you were oppressed by the tyrannous factions that lay siege to the King’s throne.

Robin Hood: Yeah. I never thought of it that way. But, yeah. That was it.

Querrian: Yeah.

Robin Hood: Yeah.

Querrian: So you says, “I ain’t taking this.”

Robin Hood: Yeah.

Querrian: And you got your band of Merry Men!

Robin Hood: Yeah! Now you’re telling it!

Querrian: And you showed those bastards!

Robin Hood: Yeah! Yeah! We showed them, all right!

Querrian: You robbed them blind, you did! You go, Robin Hood!

Robin Hood: Yeah! Just took it from them, I did!

Querrian: And you gave it all to your friends! Yeah!

Robin Hood: What? Here you go with the friends thing again.

Querrian: What? What did I say?

Robin Hood: See, I thought me and you were cool, you know?

Querrian: Yeah. We’re cool. Right?

Robin Hood: I created a balance of social classes by granting those less fortunate in the feudal anarchy of the society a wealth that they could not possible obtain through proper means.

Querrian: Right. You stole from the rich.

Robin Hood: And gave to the poor. See?

Querrian: OK. I understand it better now.

Robin Hood: Good. I get so tired of explaining it all the time.

Querrian: So talk about your relationship with Maid Marian.

Robin Hood: Well, she dug me. She liked how I flung my arrow nice and straight.

Querrian: Yes. You supposedly are a great archer.

Robin Hood: Well, that’s not exactly what I meant. But yes, I am a great archer.

Querrian: Yes, yes. I remember the story of how you split the apple with your arrow right on top of that boy’s head. What a shot that was.

Robin Hood: That wasn’t me.

Querrian: That wasn’t you?

Robin Hood: That was William Tell.

Querrian: Oh, so William told that story. You mean he made it up?

Robin Hood: No. William Tell. You know, like the William Tell Overture?

Querrian: The William Tell Overture? Wait a minute. Are you telling me that the Lone Ranger split the apple on top of that boy’s head?

Robin Hood: Let’s just skip over this part.

Querrian: Well, OK. I still can’t believe that was the Lone Ranger.

Robin Hood: Well, it wasn’t me.

Querrian: OK, then. So when King Richard returns, he gives you a full pardon.

Robin Hood: Yes. I am very grateful. I am free to frolic and make merry in the grand Sherwood Forest once again.

Querrian: Never to live a life of crime again. What a story.

Robin Hood: You keep believing that.

Querrian; Well, that’s all the time we have for today. Join me again next time for another WeeBe Querrian exclusive interview.

Robin Hood: Well, it’s off to meet up with Little John.

Querrian: And tell him I was only kidding about you being a criminal and all.

Robin Hood: Sure Q. Sure.

Querrian: OK now. Nice talking to you. See you again some time. Hey. Where’s my wallet? My wallet is missing. Hey! Mr. Hood. Wait. You stole my wallet!