Interview with the Weather Man

A WeeBe Querrian Exclusive Intervew

Querrian: Hello, everybody.  I am here today with the world famous, atmospheric prognosticator, The Weather Man.  Thank you for springing on down here today.
Weather Man: It was no pressure at all.  It’s such a breath of fresh air to be speaking with you.
Querrian: So tell me, how difficult is it to predict the weather?
Weather Man: If it was easy, we’d be right more often.
Querrian: Which leads me to my next question.  How can you be so wrong sometimes?
Weather Man: Meteorology is not an exact science.  We are accurate up to a certain degree.
Querrian: Well, I hate to rain on your parade, but what about the time when you said it would be just a few flurries and we ended up getting 42 inches of snow?
Weather Man: Many times that is due to a low pressure zone that remains flatter than what conventional trends seem to predict.
Querrian: I knew it.  You always blame things on a low pressure zone.
Weather Man: Yes, well you see -
Querrian: I know.  You know that us lay people have no idea what a low pressure zone is.
Weather Man: Well, it’s not that complicated.  You see, what happens is when the jet stream is diverted by certain atmospheric conditions, you tend to get pressure zones that rapidly decrease.  This causes a low pressure system that brings bad weather. But if you look at high pressure zones, you get the opposite effect. Now over here in the west, we can expect to see a lot of sunshine.
Querrian: How hard is that?  It’s a desert there.
Weather Man: Yes, well, it’s going to be hot in that region tomorrow.
Querrian: Uh hu.
Weather Man: Yes indeed.  Hot.
Querrian: Anything else you’re predicting for that area?
Weather Man: Hot and sunny.
Querrian: In the desert.
Weather Man: That’s what the signs point to.  Hot and sunny.
Querrian: Very good.
Weather Man: Oh, I almost forgot.  A gust of wind ranging from 1 to 3 miles an hour could be felt in some regions there. Now back to you, Querrian.
Querrian: Oh, thank you Weather Man. Now, how about down south?  What’s it going to look like there?
Weather Man: Well, if you take a look at this radar here, we can see that there is a 50 percent chance of rain.
Querrian: So that means it may rain or it may not.
Weather Man: Precisely.  I’m 80 percent certain.  It could be partly cloudy as well.
Querrian: Does that also mean partly sunny?
Weather Man: Not if it’s at night.

Querrian: I see. So what else do you see on that radar?

Weather Man: Just a bunch of green graphics really. It’s green.

Querrian: Yes. I see.

Weather Man: It just keeps repeating over and over again. Green. Look. There it goes again.

Querrian: What does it all mean?

Weather Man: That means there is a 50 percent chance of rain.

Querrian: Oh right. So maybe it will rain and maybe it won’t.

Weather Man: Precisely.
Querrian: Now when you do your five day forecast, how do you know what it will be five days from now?
Weather Man: We guess.
Querrian: You guess?  How do you get away with that?
Weather Man: Do you remember what I said five days ago about today’s weather prediction?
Querrian: No.
Weather Man: Then what’s the problem?
Querrian: Now what about this groundhog guy?  Can he really predict how long winter is going to last?
Weather Man: He’s a wise, old sage.
Querrian: I mean, he sticks his head out of the ground and that’s what supposed to determine when winter will end.
Weather Man: He always predicts sometime around the third week of March.
Querrian: Yes.
Weather Man: He’s always right.  By the time we hit the end of March, winter is over.  Amazing, that little fellow is.
Querrian: I see.  So what about tomorrow?  Do you know what it will be like tomorrow?
Weather Man: You will have to watch the evening news for that.  I’m on live at six.
Querrian: A plug for yourself, eh?
Weather Man: Viewership has been down.  There is now a 30 percent chance that is will go back up tonight.
Querrian: So how about the rest of the week?
Weather Man: That’s partly cloudy.
Querrian: It will be partly cloudy the rest of the week?
Weather Man: No, I mean my prediction.  It’s partly cloudy.
Querrian: Oh, I see.  Well, that’s all the time we have for today.  Thank you for being my guest.
Weather Man: You’ve added sunshine to my day.
Querrian: Join me again next time for another WeeBe Querrian Exclusive Interview.
Weather Man: I am predicting clear skies for that.
Querrian: But how about tomorrow?
Weather Man: Watch the news.
Querrian: Well you’re always wrong anyway.
Weather Man: There’s only a 25 percent chance of that.
Querrian: Will it rain?
Weather Man: Watch the news.