It must be done in a way she cannot be arrested.

There are things every man must learn to look for to possibly save his own life.  Always remember your kids love your wife more than you.

Don’t ever do work under the car if it is your wife who initiates it.  She has never taken an interest in the tail pipe why would she now?  You are in unique danger if she suggests jacking the car up.

You may want to cancel going to work if you see several fluids coming from under the car.  Clipped brake fluid lines as well as various engine fluids can cause deadly auto failure.  The last thing you will ever remember will be pumping your feet like mad right before you flew through the red light and into the path of the semi.

Anytime one of your children spontaneously breaks into tears and throws their arms around you beware.

Watch it if your wife suddenly decides to quit going to church because she says “I am at the point where I can only believe 9 of the 10 commandments.”

A visit by a good-looking, young and virile boy who is supposedly there to “fix the washer” is never a good sign.

You accidentally see your wife’s activity in a chat room because she forgot to sign out and you see her moniker is “Free Soon Babe.”

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You catch her and the kids practicing a slow purposeful walk such as they might do at a funeral.

There are several ways she may choose to do it.

She may tell you she has taken up deer hunting and want to tie you to the grill to practice bring the animal home.  Once you’re mounted on the car you’re dead.

She volunteers to let you practice driving some golf balls in the park down the street but as you get in the car you think you hear something ticking.

You call in sick to your office and they say “He no longer works here.”

She asks you to a basketball game and tells you she is in a mood for a “rafter seat.”

A wife with no money can be way worse than a crime lord when it comes to ideas of death.

What can you do?  Ask for overtime.