Mary Smith had one hand on the wheel and one on her cell phone. “Yeah,” she said into the phone, “I told Jack I was moving to Texas because I had a great job waiting for me, but he knows I’m just doing it so he’ll never see his daughter again. Well, he left me, and payback is a you know what.”

Mary didn’t notice the red light. She drove right through the intersection. Tires screeched, horns blared, she stuck out her tongue at the fuming drivers, and the incident was forgotten when her eye twitched. An eyelash had curled into her eye. She didn’t dare miss a word of what her phone friend was saying, so she held the steering wheel steady with a knee while removing the eyelash with her free hand. The rearview mirror was already poised at her face.

A morning just wasn’t a good morning without a pack of Trident gum and a hazelnut coffee, so she pulled into the parking lot of Store 24. There were white dividing lines painted on the pavement, but Mary apparently had no clue what they were for. She drove halfway onto the yellow no parking lines and halfway into the handicapped parking space, both of which were not three feet from the store entrance.

The store was busy with people trying to get to work. With a long line behind her, Mary stood at the counter with her coffee and gum. “You’re kidding!” she said into the phone, with everyone doing the disgruntled dance behind her. “She really dumped him? You’re not just saying that to make me happy, are you?”

The skinny store clerk finally snapped his fingers at her. “Let’s go,” he demanded. “That’s $2.09.”

One-handed, Mary fumbled through her elephant purse and found her wallet. She two-fingered a couple of ones, slapped them onto the counter, grabbed her stuff and walked away. The store clerk used the spare pennies to make up the difference.

Walking through the parking lot at work, Mary said to her phone friend, “Well, I have to go to work now, so I’ll call you back in ten minutes.” She jumped back just in time. A big SUV nearly hit her.

Once at her desk in the reception area, Mary’s boss said good morning to her.

“Oh, Mr. Jones!” she nearly cried. “You wouldn’t believe the nightmare morning I’m having. The lights screwed up at an intersection and everyone nearly smashed into everyone else. The guy at Store 24 was so rude to me, and another guy came this close to running me over right here in the parking lot. I got a quick glimpse of him and I could tell he was on the cell phone. I swear those things are going to kill someone some day.”