Oh! Another stipulation there must be an equal number of male/female in each party group as there is now in Congress, your guess is as good as mine. Whew!, almost missed that one. Since these Monkeys all look alike to we humans, we can rest assured that they were not elected (selected in this case) based upon good looks. None have money nor do they need money, we will feed them at the D. C. Zoo. Hey that worked pretty well. I can hardly wait to get to work Wednesday and settle some of the other issues.

Do you get tired of all this fuss and confusion about issues from our politicians. I find it most alarming they do not after this long understand them, so how in the world will they solve them. What in the world are we paying them for, to sit around letting the world go by or should we foolishly sit back and give them more time. Look what they just did about giving our nation a stimulus. Voted on an almost 800 billion dollar package without even reading what it contained. Now, to me at seventy three, I think that is pure stupidity, which proves my point. We must have a bunch of idiots claiming to be legislators, when a monkey could have done what they just did.

So I have a solution, think me crazy or not but I seriously think this would work. For this to work, we need at least one person in Washington, D. C., elected by us all, who can read. All elected officials will be fired immediately and replaced by an equivalent number of MONKEYS. One way to get rid of that ding-a-ling from California. Two groups of monkeys, now, so we do not slight some silly party.

Our reader is to do all the reading, for each bill coming up. Then when an appropriate time has elapsed, the reader will ask for a vote. Those of you for the bill press the Green Button, those against press the Red Button. Bleeppppppppppppp. All have voted. Good. Let’s start on this Stimulus. So section by section the reader reads, the Monkeys vote for or against. Many hours later, all issues on the Stimulus package has either been approved or not approved. Great advantage of using the Monkeys, they at least knew what they were voting on. Here is the tally for today’s work, you Monkeys did good. Stimulus money which made it equals to 200 billion dollars, approved. Stimulus money identified as ear mark or pork money, 543 billion dollars, not-approved. The remaining funds in the trimmed Stimulus bill now equals approximately 57 billion dollars, this is being transferred to the District of Columbus to improve the cafeteria of the Zoo. No, folks, I was just funning with you. It was not approved for no one knew where it was to go.

Good morning Congressmen and Congressladies, I have great news, Dow Jones went up 100 points yesterday following your very intelligent move to trim the Stimulus Bill. Great work.

Our agenda for today is to settle the issue over illegal immigrants. I will read each sub-issue and ask for a vote. Green if you approve, Red if you disapprove, Majority wins.

Immigration:

!. Amesty: Now Vote. NO AMESTY

2. Social Security for IA’s(Illegal Aliens) Now Vote No Social Security.

3. Citizenship for children born in the United States whose parents are not citizens. Now vote. No citizenship.

4. Medical care, food stamps, driver’s license, or any other benefits to illegal aliens. Now vote. Not approved, no to all, Go home.

And so it went on the immigration issues except for one item NOT on the agenda. One Monkey wanted a plaque for Ted Kennedy for years of service to the Immigration Committee for the perfect fowl up. No one could have done it better. Approved and to be paid for out of some of the 57 billion dollars not assigned and not approved.

Gun Control: Leave it alone or institute it into law. Now vote. Leave it alone passed.

Abortion: Kill them or let them live: Now vote. Let them live, kill the abortionists, Passed. Sorry it was not up for voting yet.

Other issues:

Federal Government Paying for Abortions, anywhere: Now vote. No pay passed.

Stimulus Bill to assist the Financial Industry: Now vote. Passed, CEO’s have three days to return all perks, bonuses, to sell company planes and all proceeds go to help out the failing business. Pension plans are to be left untouched.

Bail out money to the poor. Now vote. Passed, get an education, find a job, work like everyone else and quit expecting other people’s money. If you do not work, you do not eat. If you are truly disable, due to physical limitation read or have someone read the life story of Helen Keller.

Okay, our last item directly affects you Legislatures.

Two term limit in office. Now Vote. Passed, at last.

Eliminate your retirement program where one term or more you get full salary as retirement. Now vote. Passed, you are now without retirement from this day forward at least from this windfall plan,.

Legislature Social Security Program. Now vote. Whew! That was close. You are now eligible to join the rest of us in contributing and one day, hopefully receiving Social Security. See if you can live on that.

Gosh! I think we are finally getting somewhere. It has been obvious to me, the Monkeys understand the issues and are willing to vote their convictions. I wonder how they would feel about reducing the obesity of our federal government. Maybe in half and get out of my face with all these special interest groups. Let them battle like the rest of us for what we need, at our own expense rather than the federal coffers. One law for all, not one for you, one for me and so forth.