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Michael Jordan Undergoes Sex Change to Play in Wnba

Published by J Leland Malinski in Satire
June 7th, 2010

Michael Jordan is undergoing a sex change operation for a chance to play in the WNBA.

Michael Jordan dominated professional basketball winning six championships with his time at the Chicago Bulls, however, lately his urge to compete has been really eating at him.  ”Being the best at something for so long, it’s hard to replace that feeling”.  Michael Jordan has tried to fill the void with golf, gambling, and a professional motorcycle team, but nothing to this point has satisfied his love for the game of basketball.   “Basketball is what I know, and I know that I can still compete.  Maybe not in the NBA anymore, I’ll let Kobe Bryant do his thing, but the NBA isn’t the only league playing big time ball”.  There are other big time professional basketball in the world, Greece, Spain, and Italy all have profitable professional basketball leagues, but Jordan wasn’t talking about them.  ”Oh, no, I am staying right here on American soil. I am going to play in the WNBA.”  Michael Jordon looks to become Michelle Jordan.   This was a shocker for obvious reasons, but Jordan quickly cleared up any confusions. “I have already started the procedures to go under the knife to physically change in to a woman.   The motto I used in my NBA days to classify you as a woman was a hole and a heartbeat, so that what I am going to do.”   I asked Jordan about his timeline for this procedures, “I should be ready by opening day.  I will get my boob job in the off season after my first year.   I figured in the beginning I will be like every other flat chested player in the league.”  This might seem like a bad move for Jordan’s career, but so far 7 teams are interested in the former MVP and 6 time champion.   The season tickets for the Chicago WNBA team, the Maids, has already grown 34% since the news broke last night.  ”I know he’s coming back to Chicago.  I mean she’s coming back to Chicago” said, Janet Finnegay, long time Jordan fan and newly formed WNBA fan.   When asked about his legendary number 23, Jordan replied “No, I want to separate the two careers and choose something more lady like,  I am hoping for 69, if it’s not already taken”.   So will Michelle Jordan’s arrival to the league mean more championships for the Jordan name or just another disappointment on Jordan’s list right next to the Motorcycle Team, the baseball stint, the Washington Wizards, and his Marriage.  Only time will tell. 

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  1. Posted June 7, 2010 at 3:56 am

    Really a nice piece of writing…..loved it…..

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