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Rogers Announces Himself as a Candidate for the 2016 Presidential Election

Published by Brock Rogers in Satire
July 7, 2008

It is with great pleasure that I, Brock Rogers, am the first to announce myself as a candidate for the position of President of the United States for the 2016 election.

I know what you’re thinking. Not only do you, most likely, not know who I am, you probably don’t give a damn, either. That’s fine. I am not declaring myself for consideration for this post out of any desire to become famous, or any want of personal gain. I simply see a country that needs some help, and think that it needs guidance that I might be able to provide. The web says “If we don’t change our direction, we’re likely to end up where we are headed” is an old Chinese proverb. I don’t know about it being Chinese, but it sure is a good piece of wisdom, Eastern or not.

My political party will be one called the “Truthmongers.” It is not my phrase, but seems to fit with how I intend to run my campaign. There are too many political candidates who seem to only say what they think the people want to hear, and consequently what will get them elected. As a member of the newly formed Truthmonger party, however, I could really give a candle’s chance in the wind about what you want to hear. I promise to do and say nothing more than what I truly believe. You may not agree with what I stand for, but you can be sure that what I say is what I feel and what I mean.

You may not like where I stand, but you will know where I stand. I would refuse any vote cast toward me if it is done for any action I take if that action is dishonest.

There will be plenty of time between now and the election in 2016 for me to tell you all about how I feel in regards to everything. Perhaps today, however, is not the time to start soapboxing. I will, instead, tell you a little about myself to tide you over.

I am, currently, 31 years old and live in a small town in eastern Ohio called Barnesville, where I grew up and, with the exception of a brief 8-year span of living in Columbus, have lived all of my life. In a monetary sense, I am not a rich person, but have a fantastic family that more than makes up for a modest income. My parents are both from the area, with my mother also being a Barnesville native, and my father from a small town just 7 miles south of where I sit and write. They live today just across town on the same street that I do. The house where my father was born is now owned by my oldest brother where he lives with his family, in that sleepy little 200-person town just 7 miles south on the same State Route that runs outside of my door. My other older brother and his family live just two hours away outside of Columbus.

I am the lead manager of a fast food restaurant, a McDonald’s to be exact, that I run for a lady that I have known and considered a friend for almost half of my life. It is, so to say, my day job. In my time not spent there, I work at being a writer, freelancing as I choose, although it is done more for the enjoyment than the small paychecks I get for the actual product. The rest of my time is spent working on my house and caring for my dogs, of which there are currently five living with me. One cocker spaniel, one border collie/pointer, a rottweiler/corgi, a black lab, and an German Shepard mix. They spend their time trying their best to make me crazy, but I would not trade any of them for the world.

I think that, for today, this brief introduction will be enough. In the weeks to come I will be sure to start posting about the things I feel strongly about, so that you can get to know me even better. Until then, keep hope alive, and take care of each other.

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2 Comments

  1. Brock (author)
    Posted July 31, 2008 at 1:02 am

    Check out all of my writing at http://www.brockrogers.net

  2. Posted December 3, 2008 at 12:35 pm

    I love this piece. The I Like It button just isn’t working–sorry about that. Glad to meet you sir. I won’t guarantee you my vote in that many years I may not even be around; I’m already 62, so if I am I probably won’t be up to voting for you or anyone else. I like the part about being honest, though, not many politicians can say that. In fact of all the many things that they do say, that is one thing you about never hear one say.

    Great work here! Now if the friends button works I will add you as one.

    Damon D. Brewer aka johnny yuma

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