Hello Laui, nihao! My name Sifu Dansac, I am Kung Fu master, I am blog, I am social commentary.

Today, Sifu explain you all about smoking, and especially modern social trend of vilify smoker.

WHAT IS SMOKING?

Smoking is habit of inhale hot smoke from tobacco and other things for to relax. Smoking popular hobby all around world, but smoking also highly addictive. Once you start, it is difficult to stop. Worse, smoking have been link with lung cancer and other health issue relate from fill you body with hot poison gas.

Lately, anti-smoking lobby become strong and force smokers give up. It good to help smokers give up, but not right to force them. Sifu think Kung Fu is good and everyone should do, but would it be right for Sifu force everyone train, perhaps at point of gun? No, that would be wrong; Sifu encourage Laui do what ios right and learn Kung Fu, but him never bully them.

ANTI SMOKING LOBBY

However, not all Laui see things Sifu way; Laui anti-smoking lobby ban smoking in public, them ban smoking in pub, them ban smoking on bus, them ban smoking in park… them try to ban smoking everywhere because them not like the smell. Now, Sifu see them point in underground train or air plane where no ventilation is; then, it must be horrible for non-smoker share space with second hand fag smoke. It even okay on bus to ban smoking; bus journey is short and smoker can get off anytime. But pub? Ban smoke in pub? What that all about? Who hell go to pub and not smoke? Pub is traditional smoking place, where smokers go to smoke and drink beer.

People who complain about smoke say them would go to pub, if not for dirty smokers smoking up pub air with them dirty smoke. Them say this rubbish, them not even go to pub, them not even buy pint, and pubs and government, whole of UK, the whole of the UK, listen to them! It not fair! Who these people who never smoke in pub, come in and turn around and stand up and say “All smokers stop!” It just plain dictatorship, that what it is. Sifu leave China get away from that sort of thing, come to UK for to live free and smoke if him want.

Suddenly, Sifu is tell him can’t smoke anymore and USA is go same way as UK soon, so there is no escape further west. It make Sifu sick; here him is, spend him whole life learn Kung Fu to counter effects of smoking and be tough enough stick up for himself, and now faceless bureaucrat is try to push him around!

Sifu visit hospital because him hear smokers lose treatment rights; Sifu is shock! Here him is, foreigner and immigrant, come to UK with nothing and never pay tax, here him is, entitle to full NHS care! In next breath, Sifu say him smoke and doctors throw him out on ear, say smoker not allowed to get no help because it him own fault.

Have Laui seen price of tobacco, huge levy of tax on cigarette? Smoker is pay for NHS through extortionate tax, Laui, and when all smokers either give up or die of cancer, NHS go bust and then what Laui do? Laui all kiss ass of big rich private health insurance, that what Laui do; no one dare object because be smoker is become second class citizen. Political Correctness gone mad, give anti-smoking Laui excuse to bully smoker; not enough be non-smoker anymore, no, now you can go one better and be anti-smoker!

R – RATED

Here the funniest thing, Laui; now, is plan to make smoking in films ban! That right, them want put adult rating on all film include smoking. Swearing, drugs, sex and violence all censor; now them censor smoke on TV too. Some less fascist anti-smoker Laui want existing films exempt, so them can still watch Humphrey Bogart and him big stogie on daytime TV, but some Laui think even whiff of cigarette will corrupt them children; them want slightest reference to cigarette ban from all screen, create Disney-type fantasy world where no one ever smoke, no one ever swear, no one ever fight or screw.

ANTI-SMOKING LAUI LIVE IN FAIRY LAND

You just plain fooling you selves Laui; no matter what you do, people will still smoke. It don’t matter how much is the tax, or how much you pretend to cough when smoker light up in street; people still going to smoke. Ban alcohol not stop people drinking, ban drugs not get rid of junkies. In fact, ban murder not put a stop to it; making new crime only make new criminal, make society look bad in statistics.

“IF YOU TOLERATE THIS…”

You children will be next, Laui! Let anti-smoking lobby push you generation around, next generation them bully you kids even worse. Them get legitimacy from victory over you, leave you kids with no way to fight back. And you know what? Kids will fight back anyway; rebellious kids will rebel and smoke more, just because them told smoking is bad. Harder you make it, more disapproval you heap upon it, more attractive it is to rebellious kids.

You can’t legislate against the kiddies, Laui, because them will always make up new crimes. What you gonna do, write rules about how to breath? “In, in, hold, out, out, hold, in, in… hey, you not do right, you breath in, out, in, out too quick, you oxygen rights suspended until you learn do it better!” What next, CCTV camera with smoke detector, synthetic coughing noise when man light up in street? What next? What next, Laui? Smoker Anonymous hot line, report you smoking friends to born-again Christian brain washing operation? That what AlcAnon is by the way; it been hijack by Christians who want to rinse out you brain with them right-wing rubbish.

That what next, you betcha; mind-control group to “help” smoker reform for new, perfect society. No smoker allow in Jesus New Kingdom, so them form special focus group try to brainwash smokers to them evil world domination cause. That what it all about, Laui, you mark Sifu words. Can Sifu smoke, can him? Him don’t do drugs, him don’t drink, him don’t go to hooker or tie girlfriend to bed… can him smoke, can him?

Is it allow for man to have one vice? Just one, that is hurt no one but himself? What the hell is wrong with all you Laui out there, why you give so much damn what other man do in private? Leave you neighbor alone to get on with him life! So him smoke in back yard? So what? You light BBQ and stink out whole neighbourhood, do Sifu complain? No, him not.

Sifu light up cigarette at bus stop, all Laui is pretend to cough and make face. Piss off with you pretend cough! Go away with you false interest in other man business; what matter you state of stranger’s lung? Sifu sick of it; Sifu sick of whining non-smoker come up to him and ask him please to stub it out. It a public place, Laui, not you damn living room! Sifu stand in park, on beach, on street corner, definition of open space! Soon it be illegal smoke in own home! Anti-smoking lobby are just spoilsport long nose busybody, fascinate by other people lives and obsess with put stop to all fun, just like modern day Puritan.

It all bollocks, Laui; smoke if you want to. No one ever say it was healthy, but it you life and you own lungs; do what you like. There much bigger issues for human health than smoking; eating crap and drinking caffeine just for start, follow by starving children in Africa and poison rivers in developing world, water shortage in USA, world oil running out, list go on and on, but small-minded Laui anti-smokers still obsess with them pet hate… Even fox-hunting was bigger issue.

Sifu bet time waster start on about fox hunting and original idiot anti-smoking campaigner same guy; fox hunting issue all done, so on to next topic; when smoking all ban, same people find something else to complain about. Piss on you, Sifu gonna smoke anyway, and piss on you high falutin’ idea of save society; Sifu friends all gonna smoke too.

As Ancient Smoking Master Fu Manchu say; “From fire I have come and in fire I shall return; I am the lord of the flame!”

The World Shall Hear From Me Again!