Image source Wikipedia

Opens with a cool future war sequence.

Audience

Wait a minute what’s with the music? We want the Terminator theme.

Composer Brad Fidel

Err I’ll try to fit it in at the end of the film.

The two Terminators arrive through time.

T1000

Despite the ominous music I am going to act like a potential hero. I’m sure this will keep the audience guessing.

T101

I’m not going to kill anyone in this bar. I’m also going to put these sunglasses on in the middle of the night to look cool. Of course I’m still a logical, ruthless and deadly cyborg like in the first movie.

John Connor

I have a really annoying voice and will be in most of the film’s scenes.

Audience

We didn’t come to a Terminator  film to watch a squeaky kid.

Director James Cameron

I challenged myself to make him a plausible future leader by the end of the film. You’ll like him more than Nick Stahl.

Audience

That’s for sure.

Dr Silberman

So Sarah do you still believe Terminator’s are real?

Sarah Connor

Yes… I mean no.

Dr Silberman

I see. What about your dreams of the scrolls, the lamp stands the lion and the lamb.

Sarah Connor

It is a little confusing but it’s going to happen. It will happen!

John plays fighting games in an arcade which he apparently needs $300 to do.

John’s friend

Don’t you ever wish something exciting would happen?

John Connor

Please don’t say that.

The T1000 shows up and tries to kill John but he escapes on his bike.

T1000

If I had as many guns as the first Terminator this would be over by now.

John Connor

Yeah what is with that? It’s not exactly hard to get guns in America.

The Terminator saves John on the bike he stole that with suspension from the future.

T101

For a kid that who was shot at, almost crushed by a truck, and rescued by a cyborg with a poor grasp of the English language, you are taking this very well.

John Connor

Yeah well , life was more exciting with my real mum. I want to blow stuff up again. Let’s go and rescue her.

T101

OK.

John Connor

OK?

T101

I am programmed to protect and obey you.

John Connor

How did I manage to reprogramme you​?

T101

That’s not important. What is important is that I will do whatever you say.

John Connor

I’ll find this extremely cool and corrupting for one minute. That will be enough time for me to learn not to abuse power and you can learn that killing people is wrong.

T101

But I haven’t killed anyone any way.

John Connor

…Let’s just go.

They get into the high security hospital by passing just one security guard.?

Sarah Connor

Why do I end up with all the guards?

Director James Cameron

I just wanted to show that you’re no longer so sweet and defenceless, sweet pie.

They escape with the T1000 chasing them. Anyone who has seen the Simpson parody of this can’t help but smile.

Sarah Connor

That was pretty easy, you couldn’t blow off parts of the old Terminator with one shot.

Sarah takes them to get guns, lots of guns.

John Connor

I guess it’s hard to show emotion as a cyborg?

Arnold Schwarzenegger

No, I just struggle to act.

Sarah goes to kill Mile’s Dyson the longest lasting black person in a sci fi film until now.

Mile’s Dyson

If I live a little longer I could be useful.

Sarah Connor

OK, you can have a redeeming death instead.

Mile’s Dyson

I can be the salvation.

Sarah Connor

No that will be later.

They get into Cyberdyne  by passing just one security guard.

Sarah Connor

Are you sure this place has all the information on Skynet? They’re not going to make a come back in 10 years?

Mile’s Dyson

Actually now you mention it the military does ah!

Mile’s Dyson dies blowing up Cyberdyne. The T1000 turns up late… again.

T1000

I need a processor upgrade. But better late than never, I’m going to get you now.

The T1000 chases them in the most dangerous vehicle he can find and ends up getting frozen in a comic pose.

T101

Hey T1000 cool it… I need a vacation.

Sarah Connor

The Terminator making jokes, that is so sad. Ow!

T1000

Even though I can imitate your voice perfectly as I will demonstrate in a minute, I want you to call to John.

The Terminator attacks the T1000 but gets beaten up with a metal pole.

T1000

Kyle Reese eat your heart out.

The Terminator comes back to life using his back up Duracell battery.

T101

The T1000 really should have known I could do that.

John Connor

I could have escaped but for the sake of tension I will stand 10 metres in front of you.

T1000

And I will still fail to kill you, I’m meant to be advanced.

John Connor

Shame your arm can’t transform not a flame thrower.

T1000

Don’t be ridiculous.

The T1000 stands right next to one of only things in the world that can kill him. He gets knocked in and dies very very slowly.

Director James Cameron

Got to show you what our new effects can do. But I will never go over the top with CGI, honest.

Sarah Connor

I’m hap… I mean sad you’re dying.

The Terminator dies making the thumb up sign. Good job the film ends when it does.

Director James Cameron

Now I’ve ended the film ad franchise on a optimistic note.

Director Jonathan Mostow

Sorry dude I have other plans.

For more of my parody scripts and other writing go to https://www.triond.com/users/Nathan+Grace