It seems that these days no matter where

you look everything is being sponsored by

some company or major corporation.  The

sports world is inundated with sponsors;

racecars, races, football stadiums, and

baseball parks to name a few.  So what

would it sound like if a story as old as the

world itself were retold and included

some of these same sponsorships?  (All

sponsor names are of my own imagination

and are in no way associated with a factual

company to my knowledge.)

1 At the beginning when God began to

create the world; it was without for and void.

2 The earth was without form and void; full

of darkness over the deep.  And a wind from

God sponsored by the Cyclone Fan

Company swept across the void.

3 God said, “Let there be light.”  And there

was light sponsored by Starbrite Light bulbs.

4 God saw the light was good and God

separated the light from the darkness

sponsored by Solar Electronics.

5 God called the light day and the darkness

He called night.  And there was evening and

there was morning, the first day sponsored

by the Premiere Calendar Company.

6 And god said, “Let there be an expanse to

separate the water from water.”

7 And there was an expanse with water

above and below. 

8 The expanse God called sky which was

sponsored by the Cloudmiders.  And there

was evening and morning a second day

sponsored by the Premiere Calendar

Company.

9 God said, “Let the water below the sky be

gathered together so that there may be

land.”  And so it was.

10 God called the land Earth which was

sponsored by the Adama Moving Company.

The waters he called seas that were

sponsored by Wetworks Inc.  And God saw

that this was could.

11 And God said, :Let the earth bring forth

vegetation of plants, fruits, and seeds.”

12 The earth sprouted vegetation of fruit and

seeds sponsored by First Fruit Seed

Company.  And God saw that it was good.

13 And there was evening and morning a

third day sponsored by the Premiere

Calendar Company.

14 And God said, “Let there be lights in the

sky to mark the days and years.

15 And to shine upon the earth.  And it was

so.

16 God made a bright light to mark the day

which was sponsored by Solar Industries

and a lesser light with stars for the night

which was sponsored by Astro Time

Services.

17 And God set them in the sky to shine

upon the earth.

18 to dominate the day and the night and to

separate the light from the dark.

19 And there was morning and evening a

fourth day sponsored by the Premiere

Calendar Company.

20 And God said, “Let the waters bring forth

living creatures and birds in the sky.

21 And so he brought forth the sea creatures

and birds for the sky sponsored by the

Zoological Feed Company.  God saw that it

was good.

22 God blessed them saying be fruitful and

multiply which was sponsored by the

Procreation Society.

23 And there was evening and morning a

fifth day sponsored by the Premiere

Calendar Company.

24 And God said, “Let the earth bring forth

all manner of living creature to walk and

crawl upon the earth.  And so it was.

25 God created all manner of creatures for

the earth which was sponsored by the

Animal Preservation Society.  And God saw

that it was good.

26 Then God said, “Let us make man in our

image to rule over all the earth and seas and

all the creatures therein.

27 And so God created man in his image –

male and female – which was sponsored by

Clone Investments.

28 And God blessed them saying be fruitful

and multiply which was sponsored by the

Procreation Society and master all the

creatures which preside upon the earth, in

the seas, and the sky which was sponsored

by Ruling Class Developers.

29 And God said, “I give you all the plants

upon the earth for your food which was

sponsored by the Vegetable Growers

Industry.  And God found it to be good. 

There was evening and morning a sixth day

sponsored by the Premiere Calendar

Company.

This was in no way intended as a criticism of God or the Bible; it is merely a comical point of view on modern society from a very old source of literature.