When in the golf course of events, it becomes almost necessary for short people to dissolve the fishing line which have connected them with big people, and to assume among the powers of the multi-verse the separate and unequal station to which the laws of industry and industry’s god entitle them, an indecent respect to the opinions of dwarf kinds, of dwarf kind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all people are created unequal, that they are endowed by their creator with inherent and inalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty, height and the pursuit of happiness. That to secure these rights, governments are instituted among dwarves, deriving their just powers from their height, that whenever any form of government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the right of the dwarves to alter or abolish it, laying its foundations on such principles and organizing its powers in such form as to them shall seem most likely to affect their safety and height. Height, indeed, will dictate that governments long established should not be changed unless someone short is found; and accordingly all experience hath shown that the dwarf kind are more disposed to suffer under tall people who cause evils that are not sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing such tall persons.

But when a long train of abuses and usurpations begun a distinguished period and pursuing invariably the same object of evinces a design to reduce them under absolute despotism, it is their right, it is their duty to slaughter such tall people, and to provide new dwarven guards for their future security. Such has been the patient sufferance of these colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to expunge their former tall rulers. The history of the present King of Tallland is a history of unremitting injuries and usurpations, let facts be submitted to a candid dwarf for the truth of which we pledge a faith, yet unsullied by the tall.