The People for The Ethical Treatment of Animals Assert Themselves

Here is the proposed Constitution from the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA):

1. Killing an animal is murder.
2. Thanksgiving shall be replaced with a national day of mourning for the millions of turkeys that have been slaughtered over the centuries.
3. Beef is prohibited, and the Hindu concept of the holy cow shall be adopted.
4. Fur owners shall be shot.
5. All fishing will cease because fish are nature’s gift to our oceans, lakes and streams.
6. Horseback riding shall be prohibited since it constitutes cruelty to animals, and cowboys shall be outlawed.
7. The Easter Bunny is permanently banned because it denigrates the rabbit species.
8. Groundhog Day will be banned since it represents forced labor of an innocent animal.
   
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