Image via Wikipedia

Opens with Truman wandering around a world where all the information he receives is controlled by one man.

Film Audience

That would be awful.

Rupert Murdoch

Yes… awful.

A light falls out of the sky.

Truman

Whoa suspicious, if that is the trend of the week my life could get turned upside down.

The cameras follow Truman, with the positions showing that they are part of the set.

Film Audience

I bet this was tricky to work out. It is good that the film makers are trying something different.

We are shown a shot that couldn’t possibly be made on the set.

Film Audience

Never mind.

We see how boring all of the other characters are. Poor Truman goes home and takes from its hiding place a mock up picture of his true love.

Meryl

You’d think me finding that and getting angry would be more effective than letting him  constantly day dream about Sylvia.

We go into a flashback with Carey sporting his Dumb and Dumber look, Marlon looks older than he does in the present. He doesn’t moisturise even though he is an actor.

 

Marlon

Marlon and Meryl is this show sponsored by M & Ms?

Truman

Shh I’m trying to learn all these interesting facts about the world outside Sea Haven.

Meryl

We’re desperately trying to keep you in this town and they’re putting lots of exciting travel trivia in books? I need a drink.

Sylvia

Hi there out of the thousands of people you’ve met, I’m the only one who wants to tell you the truth.

Truman

That sounds good. Wait wasn’t I eyeing you up at the dance?

Sylvia

Yeah but they decided to risk you falling in love with me rather than break my contract. So the truth… the truth… well the truth is out there Truman. As for us lets just kiss until they can drag me away.

Truman

But it’s only one old man, can you tell me anything useful before you go?

Sylvia

No, despite my conscience I’m bound by the laws of drama.

Sylvia’s  Dad

But you’ll be fired after this.

Sylvia

Oh.. well too late now.

Truman gets more and more suspicious and tries to escape by car. Christoph thinks simulating a nuclear disaster is the easiest way to stop him. Why doesn’t he use this set space and budget for some fake locations?

 

Nuclear Technician

Turn around Truman.

Christoph

Idiot. You are the weakest link. Goodbye.

 

Nuclear Technician

No! Not now that I’m so near the end.

Meryl

I’m going to try and win back your trust by threatening you with these knives. Costing just $3.99 at all good stores.

Truman

Why are you talking like that?

Meryl

It is this Newspeak, it takes a bit of getting used to.

Truman

O…K

Meryl

That word is no longer valid, right, is anacceptable alternatives.

Truman

That is it I’m going to threaten you right back.

Meryl

Monster.

 

Marlon

Truman the last thing I would do is lie to you. Unless everyone else is lying which would mean I am.

 

Truman

Thanks or clearing that up for me, associating yourself with the 100’s of people I don’t trust wasn’t the smartest move.

Marlon

What do you expect I’ve been educated by Television.

 

Truman’s Dad

Hello son.

Truman

What? Where have you been all these years?

Truman’s Dad

It was all a dream.

 

Christoph

This is television gold, now fade up the live music.

Musician

I have to do all this music live? But the theme’s the same throughout?

Christoph

You’re a total light weight, you’re fired!

Musician

Thank you for the opportunity, (under his breath) git!

News reels show us the history of the show.

Film Audience

A baby adopted by a television show? No country that cares about human rights would allow this.

Director Peter Weir

This is set in America.

 

Film Audience

Oh yeah.

News Reader

Along with the great wall of China the set is the only man made object visible from space.

Film Audience

Most things are visible from space with the right equipment.

News Reader

Don’t nitpick, I mean with the naked eye.

Film Audience

That’s a myth.

News Reader

Shut up! I prefer the Truman audience.

Truman Audience

Wow Truman’s sleeping we love watching that.

Film Audience

No viewers could ever  be that sad.

Christoph

Our next milestone is an on-screen conception.

Film Audience

Not very family friendly.

Christoph

Followed by an onscreen birth.

Film Audience

You’ve done that already with Truman.

Christoph

Give me a break, I’m just repackaging old ideas as cutting edge. It’s what we do.

Truman escapes his house unseen and the entire town turns out to find him. After all being hunted by a mob is bound to make him want to stay.

Christoph

I’m going to kill you Truman. I’m sure the nation won’t demand the death penalty for your murder.

Network Boss

You’re a nut how have you held your position so long.

Christoph

You’ve never toured Channel 4 studios have you?

 

Truman Audience

A part of us wants to see him hurt.

Truman makes it to the edge of the set and the audience realise that they now respect Jim Carey as an actor.

Christoph

Please please stay.

Truman

I have discovered the truth, destroying the entire point of your show.

Christoph

Perhaps but every minute you stay makes me more money.

Truman

Hmm money, I wonder what magazine deals I will get. Goodbye.

Truman Audience

Lets see what else is on.

Film Audience

Yes lets see what else is on.

For more of my parody scripts and other pieces go to https://www.triond.com/users/Nathan+Grace