You are warmly invited downunder, Senator. This is an open invitation from all Aussies to Senator Obama.  We sincerely hope he accepts and hope he will take heed of these hints, for a smooth visit to Sydney and the Outback, when he wins the Oval Office.

♦  Practice “G’day.” Pronounced – Gid – day. It’s the cheery hello of downunder. Using it will make your welcome a lot smoother.

♦  Tell them how much you really love Sydney.  Locals to the Harbour city will ask you anyway.  This will charm the locals. Please enthuse and you’ll fool us into thinking we are not so parochial.

♦  Go for a beer with your, “mates.”  In Australia, the myth of mateship holds strong.  All you need to do is grab your closest attaches, a couple of real Aussies ( white ones if you can find them ) and head off to the pub.  This should be the first thing you should do if you can – it will make you feel great; as Aussies are very congenial with beer.

♦  Dine on crocodile steaks with Steve Irwin’s widow.  A photo snap at dinner, with Terri and Bindi, would be the slam-dunk of the visit and the photo opportunity of the century.

♦  Visit the Outback.  The communities are different, very different to the Sydney and Melbourne urban areas, with their lavish swimming pools and mansions.  Witness the poverty asking, “Should I apologise to Native Americans, too?”

♦ Catch Marlin at Port Douglas.  The Clintons did it.  It’s a great adventure Americans adore and yet another vivid story.  Take time off – fish the big fish – while enjoying the surrounds of the lush, ancient rainforest of Gondwanaland that kisses the aquamarine Great Barrier Reef.

♦  Know the wildlife. The kangaroo, the emu and the koala.  Senator, the first two are on the coat of arms and the last is a must to cuddle and ( once again ) the perfect photo snap.

♦  Grasp the two main football codes of Australia.  In Melbourne, the football game played is AFL – Australian Rules Football.  In Sydney, the football is Rugby League.  Study both and determine the fine details and you will win in every conversation.

♦  Frolic at Bondi Beach with all the beautiful beach babes.  Prince Charles found this a challenge.  Give it a go, – as Aussie women are just – gorgeous.

I hope these hints help you plan the perfect Presidential visit to Australia, where you are very welcome.