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Six Simple Steps to World Domination

Published by daffodil in Humor
March 9th, 2011

Even villains have to work hard…

  1. Change your name, to something unpronounceable for bonus points. Doctor Heinrich Zkorpagolovstein is a lot more likely to rule the world than John Smith.

  2. Recruit an army of obedient minions with low intelligence who will do anything and everything that you command. Make sure they don’t have a sensitive side that the hero can connect with.

  3. Develop some kind of deadly weapon to force the world to bow to your wishes, like a super-powered atomic ray that can disrupt the tidal patterns and…… well, you get the idea.

  4. Perfect an evil and sinister laugh.

  5. When you finally get James Bond in your clutches, KILL HIM. Don’t mess around lowering him inch by inch into a pit of boiling lava or setting up a moving laser beam that will gradually slice him in half, because he will escape and he will then kill, maim, or otherwise defeat you in one humiliating way or another.

Lastly, and most importantly…

  1. Purchase a fluffy white cat and a swivel chair.

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  1. Posted March 9, 2011 at 9:26 am

    Hahahaa, this amused me a lot :P

  2. Posted March 10, 2011 at 6:54 am

    lol seems easy enough.

  3. Posted March 24, 2011 at 1:04 pm

    nice article

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