Six Wishes by an Ordinary Guy to Santa for Christmas Shopping

 Hey, I’m just an ordinary guy and life doesn’t always go as smooth as they show it on television. I have a job and I have a family and I have kids too. What else could you ask for? The house is warm and we have enough to eat. When we go shopping, we always go for special offers, pick three and pay two or we pick the large family packs. We go shopping every Friday evening after work, like so many other people. I hate the full supermarkets. You can’t make step without being pushed or run over by a pram or shopping trolley. Nobody takes any pity on you – they just carry on.

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  Shopping also takes too long in most cases. If I go out and look for something, I’ll only leave with a shopping list in my hands, and work my way through the shelves systematically. That’s why I find it so annoying that they constantly move the goods around. Once I had got my bearings and knew where to find the rice – I bet next time I go there, they’ll have moved around everything, and where the rice was, is now the tea. But that doesn’t mean that where the tea once was, is now the rice. That would be too easy. They want us to solve the riddle by travelling through the whole supermarket.

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  But that would be awkward, that would take me too long. I get flustered when it takes too long. It’s like the bright lights in the supermarket ring an alarm bell in my brain and I can see it flashing in front of my eyes: “Get out of here!” That’s why I rather leave before I’ve found what I was looking for, if they hide it from me. So, this would be my list wishes for Santa, if it comes to Christmas. These are the things I’d like to change if it wasn’t for getting real presents from Santa, like an X-Box or a digital satellite dish:

1. Please, Santa, make that the supermarkets close at seven in the evening – I can’t see a reason why I should go shopping in the middle of the night. But my wife finds it cool and shops her socks off, and then the credit card is finished.
2. Please, Santa, tell them in the supermarkets, that they don’t need to hide the goods from me. If I can’t find them, I have to leave without buying them. And that doesn’t mean good business for them, does it?
3. Please, Santa, introduce bouncers at the entrance to supermarkets around the rush hour time. The number of people inside needs to be limited. I don’t want to be pushed around and knocked over and have to step around children on the ground because I’m afraid to hurt them.
4. Leave all the goods in the same place all year round and give me a plan, where I can see what I can find in which place, that would half my shopping time, and I would have more spare time for myself.
5. Please prohibit the use of prams, children on scooters and roller shoes since they are a risk in the market, and I don’t want to be knocked down. There could be playing area where the toddlers and bigger kids could play together and were safe and keeping busy.
6. Please get rid of these automated check-out terminals. They are no automates, they can’t even once work properly alone and without having an assistant on your side helping the poor thing to understand what it is supposed to do. 

 Oh yes, and there would be another one, although there is no more space on the wish list: Pleas give me my own supermarket, where I can freely shop on my own whenever I feel like it. But that would only be necessary if you can’t fulfil my other wishes.

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Santa replied to our ordinary guys letter.