Ten Signs That Your Girlfriend is Going to Dump You

Published by in Humor
2nd Oct 2016

Witty signs that your girlfriend wants to end with relationship.

Do you feel like your relationship has soured with your girlfriend?  Here are ten signs that your girlfriend is about to dump you:

1.  Your girlfriend refers to you in the past tense.

2.  Your girlfriend gives you a one way ticket to Guam.

3.  Your girlfriend says that she would rather hug a cactus before hugging you.

4.  Your girlfriend gives you an ice cube and places it in your hand. She tells you that this is how she feels when she is having sex with you.  She then showers more ice cubes on top of your head.

5.  Your girlfriend gives you a kick in the butt and says that you’ve become a real pain in the ass.

6.  Your girlfriend grits her teeth when you try to kiss her.  She then gives you the finger as you walk away.

7.  Your girlfriend gives you a book entitled “How to Screw Up a Relationship” and then slams the door in your face.

8.  Your girlfriend sprays the room with air freshener.  She complains that you are leaving a distinctly bad odor.  She suggests that you move to another state.

9.   Your girlfriend discovers that you have been dating another girl.  She gives you two bags of garbage and tells you live with the trash.

10.  Your girlfriend gives you the cold shoulder of a Zombie.

Ten Signs That Your Girlfriend is Going to Dump You

Published by in Satire
27th May 2013

Do you feel like your relationship has soured with your girlfriend?  Here are ten signs that your girlfriend is about to dump you:

1.  Your girlfriend refers to you in the past tense.

2.  Your girlfriend gives you a one way ticket to Guam.

3.  Your girlfriend says that she would rather hug a cactus before hugging you.

4.  Your girlfriend gives you an ice cube and places it in your hand. She tells you that this is how she feels when she is having sex with you.  She then showers more ice cubes on top of your head.

5.  Your girlfriend gives you a kick in the butt and says that you’ve become a real pain in the ass.

6.  Your girlfriend grits her teeth when you try to kiss her.  She then gives you the finger as you walk away.

7.  Your girlfriend gives you a book entitled “How to Screw Up a Relationship” and then slams the door in your face.

Read more in Satire« 1-upTen Signs That Your Boyfriend is a Zombie »

8.  Your girlfriend sprays the room with air freshener.  She complains that you are leaving a distinctly bad odor.  She suggests that you move to another state.

9.   Your girlfriend discovers that you have been dating another girl.  She gives you two bags of garbage and tells you live with the trash.

10.  Your girlfriend gives you the cold shoulder of a Zombie.