The Customs of Christmas

Image by Zanastardust via Flickr

Eggnog – Beginning in Ireland during the 4th century, this beverage was invented when a homemaker knocked over a bottle of whiskey into cookie batter. Not wanting to waist the hooch, she mixed the two together and  subsequently drank it. The tradition spread to the US during the time of the Great Potato Famine and the subsequent mass Irish immigration to Boston and New York. Saint Patrick helped to popularize the drink when he preached that Christ “Does a shot of eggnog” every time a heathen was converted from paganism in the Gallic territory during the holidays.

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The Exchange of Presents – This has nothing to do with Christianity or the myth of Santa Claus as many would believe. It comes from an ancient Chinese custom, predating Christianity by at least 550 years, of mutual gift taking. During the Ming dynasty, each village in China would have a festival known as “Tak-An-Flee”. In English this means “Consensual Robbery”. According to legend, the first born of each household would go into the hut of their neighbor and steal anything they wished. Because everyone had to do it under decree of the Emperor, no one was allowed to forsake the event, and thus all people became bonded by what came to be known as “He-Yan-Fu”, which loosely translates as “Mutual Mass Guilt”. As the tradition moved from China to Europe during the time of the trade routes, it became inverted from gift-taking into gift-giving, as it was realized that you could steal a lot more from people by charging them a fortune through compulsory gift buying during the holidays. This tradition was later adopted by the Hebrew tribes of the Middle East in 1 or 2 A.D., and subsequently the Catholic Church by Pope John-Paul-George-Ringo in the 14th century. 

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The Indoor Christmas Tree – This custom is a Native American in origin, stemming from the desire to make the indoors outdoors during the long Winter months. Pilgrims from Europe were so taken by this custom that they later adopted it at Christmas time when it was too bitter cold to spend time outdoors. The idea of decorating the tree with ornaments can be traced to when Martin Luther of Germany, at the time of Easter, would take a Jew out into the town square in Munich and pin him with heavy weights in order to get him “Even closer to hell where he belongs”. As time passed and anti-Semitism became increasingly covert, the date of Easter was changed to Christmas, the Jew to a tree, and the weights to glass baubles.

Calling Christmas “X-Mass” – It’s just easier to write.