He then realized that Lou had stolen his wallet and that his driving license was in a temporary mode of identity theft. So, he told the vending machine to take him to E-Surance. After a long moment, a strange girl who said her name was 44 buckeyes said, “Haha! Yer stuck in a vending machine!”

So Wal-Mart gift card sued 44 buckeyes for harassment and damage to his rabbit shooting balloon. Obama served as the judge. He said that both people win “for a change” and that in that situation, the two people who went to court had to go to Burger King and buy each other an extra large soda. But Wal-Mart gift card heard an extralarge sofa and so, they drove to Burger King.

44 buckeyes turned around and carefully capped a lid on the 29 oz cup. She looked up and reached for the soda that Wal-Mart gift card had gotten her… only to find him behind an extra long sofa, smiling broadly.

Wal-Mart gift card never got to E-Surance. His driver’s license went into permanent identity theft and his wallet was shoved inside a toilet bowl in Japan that Homer Simpson was desperately trying to order a pizza from. In addition, all of Wal-Mart gift card’s Weird Al Cd’s got lost in the Amazon rainforest, and the next time he ordered a burger, it ran away from him, into the Employee Restroom, and started crying. Finally, Peter Griffin got in a fight with the chicken (again) and paused when all went blurry at the corner of a table. However, it was Halloween, and Wal-Mart gift card had dressed up as a chicken. Peter mistook him for the chicken, and so that is how Wal-Mart gift card’s life ended. With hamburgers running away from him and Peter’s fist in his mouth.

One month later…

“So, uhhh… Batman. Wat’cha gonna do with dat wallet?”

“Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh… I’m not sure.”

“Well, that’s just dandy.”

“Wait, I know what to do with it!”

“What?”

“*****************************************************.”

“What?!”

“What?”

“What did you just say?!”

“I said **************************************************************!”

“Wait… don’t tell me you saw that…”

Batman smiled and said, “IMMAH FIRIN MAH LAZAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

The next day, a guy named Kyle went to see Bee Movie. He died of convulsive bowel eruptions.

From here on out, i will try not to think of such morbid ways to kill people…