Things That Will Get You a Ticket

Published by R.B. Parsley in Humor
September 20, 2009

A nonsense look at our number one form of transportation: driving.

1. Driving slow in a school zone.

2. Stopping on a red light.

3. Signaling when turning.

4. Not bribing a police officer with a donut.

5. Not engaging in road rage.

6. Not flipping off a police officer when he comes a long side your car.

7. Not telling a female police officer she has nice headlights.

8. Not showing a police officer you have flashers too.

9. Not telling a female police officer you have a bigger gun than the one she has at home.

10. For being more sober than the cop that pulled you over

11. For driving the speed limit when you should be speeding.

12. Not driving drunk.

13. Not giving a police officer a case of beer when you have two in the back seat.

14. For not letting the arresting officer win at demolition derby

15. Forgetting to tell a police officer his wife is uglier than he is.

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11 Comments

Liane Schmidt

Posted September 20, 2009 at 4:35 pm

haha

Blessings.

Sincerely,

-Liane Schmidt.
Alexa Gates

Posted September 20, 2009 at 8:08 pm

ha! lol my brother just got a ticket for ‘following too closely’ cops love to give out stupid tickets, but they dont like giving out the serious ones! Great article!
PR Mace

Posted September 21, 2009 at 4:43 am

Good one, Randy. Thanks for my laugh. Hopefully I will have time to write you this week. I am catching up on my friends while on a break at work.

Later, Pam
Tim P Stavert

Posted September 21, 2009 at 8:17 am

I enjoyed that Randy, I think I copped the lot.

Tim
Ruby Hawk

Posted September 23, 2009 at 7:14 pm

Thanks for a good laugh, Randy, but on a more serious note. A school bus driver ran over a little 6 year old boy here last week. She lost sight of him and thought he had crossed the road, instead he was in front of the bus. the wheel ran over him and he died.
Joe Poniatowski

Posted September 29, 2009 at 11:45 am

I tried keeping a stock of dough-nuts on hand when I drive. Trouble is, I kept eating the bribes before I could give them to the cops. Oh well, thanks for the laugh.
chitragopi

Posted October 1, 2009 at 2:58 am

Amusing, but this shows your annoyance too.
nobert soloria bermosa

Posted October 3, 2009 at 11:04 pm

hahahahaha…enjoyable,thanks a lot randy,thank much for the nice friendship,God Bless
Jane Jane

Posted October 24, 2009 at 9:20 am

LOL. that’s funny.
Leonardo davinci Evans

Posted October 30, 2009 at 12:48 pm

Please join me in requesting all communities that they require their police officers to address the public as “citizen”. The psychological event which occurs when they have to do that will aid both society and the police.
fishfry aka Elizabeth Figueroa

Posted November 12, 2009 at 5:10 pm

That was great, now if they only got out there and got the real “criminals”.

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