10. I am my evil twin.

Can’t tell us apart? Just look at the glint in my eye.

9. I’m a homicidal maniac, they look just like everyone else.

So don’t make me upset. I might just have to use this on you (pull a toothbrush out of your pocket).

8. I’m a poor college student.

I can’t afford food, let alone a costume. Brother can you spare a beer?

7. I’m your average Joe.

I’m not sub-par. I’m not above the bar. I am the bar.

6. I’m a low paid fashion model.

America’s Next Top Model said thanks, but no thanks.

5. I’m a Rent-A-Date.

My rates are extremely reasonable. You can rent me by the minute…

4. I’m a midget with a growth-hormone problem.

But that’s OK because I’m also a short order cook for a restaurant in a high rise building.

3. I’m an alien.

We’re here taking an informal survey. Do you humans prefer your abductions with or without the probing?

2. I’m a figment of your imagination.

So if you don’t mind, could you imagine me a little taller and about ten pounds lighter?

1. I’m dressed in drag as a tom-boy.

And believe me, I’ve heard all the jokes before.