If you have ever been in the Southeastern part of the United States, you know that people there can sometimes speak in a different version of English. I was born and raised in Tennessee and have spent time in every state in the Southeast (having lived in a few as well) and despite this, I have occasionally experienced difficulty understanding the local dialect. I have read that a lot of the “slang” in this part or our nation has its roots in the Scottish language. Scottish people settle all around the Appalachian Mountains because (it is said) that they closely resembled the Scottish Highlands. I am sure there are many other influences as well.

This “primer” is intended to have a little fun with the “hidden” (i.e., probably not in the dictionary) language of the South and perhaps provide the unwary traveler with some insight into what the heck is being said! You will find words and phrases below that are fairly common to the Southeast but may have variations depending upon where you are travelling. I have included a brief explanation of the word or phrase (based on how I learned to use it or what I heard from others) and in most cases, an example to help you on your way to being able to communicate in “Southern Speak”. In the interest of being able to understand what is written, I have spelled most words correctly and not the way only we in the South can say them.

Argue / talk with a fence post - The key here is the fence post – Obviously, it is incapable of replying (at least where I live). If you use the word “argue” with this phrase it indicates someone that is argumentative and would argue no matter what. Example: “Roy is so ornery that he would argue with a fence post.” If you insert the word, “talk”, you are indicating that the person likes to talk. A lot. Example: “Helen would talk with a fence post if it would listen.”

Beller (See “Holler” as well) - This word in the South means to yell loudly – typically for someone. I have also seen it used when referring to animals (like cows mooing loudly). Example: “Hank! Your mom is bellerin’ for you! You better get home!”

Belly washer - This is a carbonated beverage. Example: “I’m going to drink me a belly washer.” Where I grew up, “drink” is pronounced as “drank”.

Bled like a stuck pig – If you ever managed to cut yourself and the blood flowed freely, it was not uncommon for someone viewing your wound to say, “You are bleeding like a stuck pig.”

Carry - In the South, this word can be used to refer to transporting a person (typically in a car – See “vehicle”). Example: “I had to carry my mother to the store yesterday.”

Chicken with its head cut off – This refers to an animal or person that is running around frantically – sometimes with little or no apparent motive. People that own chickens would kill one of their chickens for a meal by cutting off its head with an axe or just wringing its neck. Chickens are known to run around crazily for a little while after losing their head. I have heard my father describe the practice of “wringing the neck” which is taking a live chicken by the neck and swinging it quickly around in a circle in front of you until the head comes off. This is probably where the phrase “wring someone’s neck” comes from. Example: “Billy is so confused! He was running around like a chicken with its head cut off!”

Clean your clock - If someone tells you this it means they intend to do bodily harm to you. Example: “You took my belly washer and now I’m going to clean your clock!”

Clod hopper – Shoes that appear overly large on your feet – usually with very large soles. I guess the name comes from jumping over clods (see “Dirt clod”).

Cow pie / cow paddy - Cow poop that has been in the sun long enough for the outside to harden slightly leaving the inside still a little soft (hence the use of the word “pie”). Popular for its use as a thrown weapon – you can imagine the effect! Example: “Bubba! If you hit me with that cow paddy, I’m going to clean your clock!”

Dadgum / dadburn - These are “polite” swear words in the South. Example: “Dadgum it! I just broke Mom’s best dish!” “Dadburn it, Joe! Why did you have to go and do that!”

Dick’s hat band - Used to refer to anything that is “tight” (clothing, a penny pincher, etc.). Example: “Those pants are tighter than Dick’s hat band!” “Bill’s wallet is tighter than Dick’s hat band.”

Dirt Clod - Dirt that has stuck together into roughly a palm sized “clod” that is perfect for throwing. The best ones “explode” (or at least look like it) when thrown against walls, the street or your playmates. Example: “Billy! You stop throwing those dirt clods at me!”

Duck on a June bug – This is an indication of speed (usually mixed with greed) to obtain something. Ducks like to eat June bugs and have to move pretty fast to catch them. Example: “Did you see Uncle Homer? He went for that moon pie like a duck on a June bug.” Children like to catch June bugs and tie thread to one of the hind legs so you can control how far away it can fly. That’s better than a helium balloon!

Eat corn on the cob through a picket fence – Used to indicate someone who has teeth that stick out on the top (also known as “buck teeth” or “horse teeth”). Example: “Poor Mable and her buck teeth! She could eat corn on the cob through a picket fence!”

Fer piece - This has to do with traveling a great distance and I am assuming that “fer” used to be “far”. Example: “I have to travel a fer piece so I better get going.”

Finer than frog hair - This is used to reply to someone that has just asked about your health (See “Ya’ll” for more detail). Examples: (Feeling good) “I’m finer than frog hair!” (Feeling great) “I’m finer than frog hair split four ways.”

Fired up - See “Ill”.

Fixin’ to - Preparing to do something. Example: “I’m fixin’ to clean your clock.”

Frazzled – Typically refers to someone that is tired from doing something stressful. Example: “Poor old Winona! She is plumb frazzled after fussin’ with those kids all day!”

Haint – A word to describe a ghost derived from “haunt”. Example: “I ain’t agoin’ up there! That house has a haint!”

Hankering – This means the same thing as “yearning”. More often than not, it is used to express a desire for food. Example: “I’ve got a real hankerin’ for some grits!”

Holler – See “Beller”.

Hoot – Something or someone that is a lot of fun. Examples: “Scaring Farmer Brown’s cow is a hoot!” “He’s a hoot!”

Horse Biscuit - Same as “Cow pie / paddy” but referring to horse poop instead. Also good for use as a missile weapon.

Ill- Another word for angry. “I’m fixin’ to carry my aunt over to the store and if she wants me to drop her off at the front door, I’m going to get ill!”

Mess – Can refer to a group or collection or a “bunch”. See “Vittles” for usage.

Pig in a poke (See “Poke” for its definition) - This saying refers to dealing with something that is unknown and has some risk to it. Example: “If you buy that, you might be gettin’ a pig in a poke.”

Plumb - Another word for “very”. See “Tuckered out” or “Frazzled” for usage.

Poke – Another way of referring to a bag or sack.

Pouring piss out of boot - This is used to indicate someone’s lack of intelligence. There are a few variations but the most descriptive is “He couldn’t pour piss out of a boot if the directions were on the heel.”

Revenuer – An IRS agent that came to collect back taxes.

Rode hard and put up wet – This refers to anything or anyone that looks pretty rough and probably relates to a leather saddle originally. Perhaps your neighbor is out to get the paper in their boxers after an all night party and is not looking their best. If you and your spouse are looking out the window, one of you might remark, “He looks like he was rode hard and put up wet.” Another version of this is to say, “He looks like nine miles of bad road.”

Rougher than a cob - This saying refers to using corn cobs in lieu of toilet paper in outhouses. It can refer to the feel of something but also to how something functions. Example: “The tires on my vehicle ride rougher than a cob.”

Spell - This has two meanings in the South: 1) An indeterminate period of time – Example: “I’m going to sit a spell.” and 2) Give someone a rest – Example: “You’ve been drivin’ long enough. Let me spell you.”

Spoof - Another word for a lie but in most cases it means that you are playfully telling a lie. Example: “I don’t believe there is an elephant in the front yard! You’re spoofin’.”

Sugar – The Southern word for diabetes. Southerners also pronounce diabetes as “diabeatus”. Example: “George has been tired a lot since he got sugar.”

Tizzy – This is when someone is very nervous and/or disturbed and can even end up running around like a chicken with their head cut off. Example: “Ever since her milk cow ran off, Elvira has been in a tizzy.”

Trust someone as far as you could throw them - When used to refer to another person, it means that they are not to be trusted. Example: “I would not trust Hannah Jean as far as I could throw her.” It can get even meaner if the person in question is of ample girth.

Tuckered out - Exhausted. Example: “I had to run from the Law today when they found my still. I’m plumb tuckered out.”

Upside - Another way of saying something is against something else – probably short for saying “right up alongside”. See “Wallop” for usage.

Vehicle - In the South, you don’t drive a car, you “operate a vehicle”. Typically it is pronounced with the emphasis on the first syllable like, “vee-hicle”. Example: “Don’t you touch my vee-hicle or I’ll clean your clock!”

Wallop - Another word for striking something or someone. Example: “I’m going to give you a wallop upside your head for touching my vee-hicle.”

Whooping - This is where your parents are going to spank you for some infraction or someone is mad enough at you to beat you up. Example: “Oh, Johnny! You done broke Mom’s favorite dish and you are going to be in for a whoopin’!”

Wipe the floor with you – A variation of “Clean your clock”.

Worth your salt - This is said to comment on someone or something’s value. Example: “If that new restaurant were worth its salt, they would be serving sweet tea.”

Ya’ll – One of the most common “words” in the Southern Vocabulary; short for “you all” or “all of you”. Example: (Said to a group of people to address everyone at once) “How ya’ll doin’?” What some people might not know is that there is a variant: “you ‘uns”. “Ya’ll” can also be used with one person to infer that you are not only asking about their health but the health of their immediate family as well.

Yonder - Somewhere other than where you currently are and of indeterminate distance. Examples: “I’m fixin’ to go over yonder to the store.” “Look over yonder. Here comes your mother in your father’s vee-hicle.”

Bonus Food and Beverage Section

Coke - In the South, this collectively refers to any and all carbonated beverages, no matter the brand or flavor (similar to “Kleenex®” being the generic title for all tissues). Example: “I’m going to go buy a coke.” In most cases it means you really are going to buy a Coca-cola® product (given the popularity of the brand in the South) but it can also mean any other brand. Another example: “I’m going to carry my mother to go get a coke.”

Dinner / Supper - In a good portion of the United States, the noon meal is referred to as “lunch” and the evening meal is called “dinner”. However, to some people in the South, the noon meal is “dinner” and the evening meal is “supper”.

‘Mater – The shortened version of “tomato”. Example: “I need a belly washer to go with my ‘mater.”

Moon pie – This is one of the most popular desserts in the South. It is basically two round graham crackers with marshmallow filling in between. It is then covered with a flavored coating that forms a shell around the whole thing. I have eaten vanilla, chocolate and banana (the best) but I’ve heard there are other flavors. Eating one while drinking a Coke® is a Southern tradition!

Poke Salad - I have never had this but have heard of it many times. My understanding of this is you go out in your yard or a field and pick wild greens. Then you fry bacon, chop it up and put it in a poke (a bag) with the greens. You then pour the bacon grease into the bag and shake the bag to evenly distribute the grease (which functions as the salad dressing). Then pour on a plate or bowl and eat.

Scrambled Pig Brains – No kidding – people eat this! I can remember being totally shocked when I was old enough to recognize it was being sold in the local grocery store. I have never tried it but have heard that some people like to mix it in with their scrambled eggs. I wonder if you oink after you eat it.

‘Shine - Short for “moonshine” (also called “hootch”) which is “distilled” typically in very remote locations due to the illegal nature. Rumors abound of people going blind drinking improperly prepared ’shine. True moon shine is absolutely clear and has very high alcohol content. Shine is prepared in a “still” (which comes from “distill”) which is constructed of various spare parts.

Sweet tea – If you come to the South, 99% of the restaurants will provide you with “sweet tea”. In other words, they have already sweetened the tea while it was still in the pot and it is done with sugar and not an artificial sweetener (to truly be called “sweet tea”). I have heard it jokingly referred to as the “house wine of the South”. Do not be surprised if you order “ice tea” at a restaurant in the South and the server asks you, “Sweet or un-sweet?”

‘Tater - The shortened version of “potato”. Example: “I’m fixin’ to make a mess of ‘taters.”

Vittles – For fans of “The Beverly Hillbillies”, you know that Granny always talked about fixing vittles. Vittles collectively refers to any type of prepared food (including possum gizzards). Example: “I’m fixin’ to make a mess of vittles.”