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Top 10 Stupid Questions to Ask on a Cruise

Published by Taffy in Travel
April 15th, 2009

Avoid these 10 questions and you’ll look like a pro cruiser.

Are you new to cruisin’? Would you like to cruise like a pro but feel you might say something ridiculous that might give away your newbie status?

Here are 10 questions to avoid asking and why:

10. Does the elevator go to the front of the ship? Generally, elevators go UP or DOWN. If you want to get to the front (which is the bow) of the ship you will have to walk to the front.  Likewise for the back (called the stern) of the ship.   There are maps on the ship, usually near the elevators, that will tell show you where you are and what is on the floor/side of the ship.

9. Is the iced tea hot?  Do I need to explain this one?

8. Does the crew sleep on the ship? Not sure where else the crew would sleep except on the ship.  The crew’s quarters are down, down, down in the belly of the ship.  No passenger is allowed in the crew or staff’s quarters.

7. What is the elevation we are at? When you are on the sea, you would be at sea level.

6. What time is the midnight buffet? Another no-brainer that I even asked on my first cruise.  The midnight buffet is at, say it all together, midnight! Many of the cruise lines are stopping this yummy tradition.

5. Is the water in the toilet fresh water or saltwater? What does it matter, I wonder? Why don’t you taste it and get back to me on that one. :)   OK. Seriously.  This question may come from the fact that many cruise ships pools are salt water.  Drain the pools at night and refill with the nearest water; the ocean. From what I have been told, the water is regular water.  But I didn’t want to find out and didn’t care, as long as it flushed!

4. Does the ship generate its own electricity? There is a l-o-n-g extension cord plugged into the port you sailed out of… just kidding.  There are tours that you can sign up for and see all the workings of the ship from the kitchen to the stage shows.

3. What do you do with the ice sculptures after they melt? I have seen the ice sculptors use a chain saw and knives to create an amazing mermaid.  The sculptor was used as a center piece at the midnight buffet.  To answer the question, the ice melts into… water.  I don’t know what the staff does with the ice sculptors when they start melting.  Lick them? Put them in the sink?  Save the water for the toilets?  I can’t answer those questions.

2. Is the island surrounded by water?  Here is the definition of an island:  A land mass, especially one smaller than a continent, entirely surrounded by water.

And the #1 stupidest question:

If the photos aren’t marked, how do we know they are ours? The cruise lines have found another way to part you with your hard earned money: pictures!  There are many, many picture opportunities and the cruise staff will be everywhere to help you remember your vacation!  Your first picture is taken as soon as you walk on the boat.  There are pictures for the nights you are dressed up to when you leave the ship for shore excursions. With thousands of passengers, there are literally thousands of printed pictures.  Passengers can buy one or five or all of the pictures of them.  How do you find your pictures??  Look for YOU in them! :)   Pictures are grouped on walls in the photo center according to the day or the event. 

Now that you know the top 10 stupid cruise questions, keep your ears open and you will hear others ask the questions you know better than to ask!  And, you might hear more stupid questions!

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Liked it
  1. Posted April 22, 2009 at 11:14 pm

    Haha, that made me smile.

  2. Taffy
    Posted April 22, 2009 at 11:51 pm


  3. Victoria
    Posted May 4, 2009 at 1:33 pm

    Well this has to be the funniest article. Im pretty sure all of those questions were common sense dumb questions.


    You were reviewed by Victoria Wright writers critic.

    You earned 5 stars.

  4. Taffy
    Posted May 4, 2009 at 2:02 pm

    Thanks Victoria!!

  5. Posted June 3, 2009 at 5:57 am

    funny collection even though i’ve never been on a cruise especially the crew sleeping one.

  6. Glassie
    Posted June 5, 2009 at 8:54 am

    All too often our mouths work before our brains and often the slowest of brains never realises it has made a mistake by letting the words tumble out.

  7. Posted June 19, 2009 at 6:09 pm

    There is another question we learned not to ask: Do these stairs go up or down??

  8. lav
    Posted July 25, 2009 at 1:38 am

    hahahahahahahaha great! This is my first time sailing on the Summit and after reading this I do not feel stupid at all, I can see these being asked!

  9. Posted September 5, 2009 at 9:44 am

    Oh this is funny, I can picture people asking which way does an elevator go. You have laugh at it.

  10. Posted May 21, 2010 at 5:24 pm

    Wow, Victoria – and you described those goofy questions to ask on a cruise. I have been cruising for 15 years on six ships (my recent one to date was the Celebrity Century, which I just disembarked a week ago) and I have no recollections of people asking them! I love that article as a cruiser!

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