You’ve finished attending the business conference. You’re on your way home when you decide to find a cheap hotel to stay for the night. You find an old hotel to stay at. You find out that your hotel room is the pits because…

1. The water that comes out of your faucet is brown
2. The bed bugs are having a pillow fight
3. The bed sags in places that have never been sagged before
4. Your alarm clock screeches
5. There’s a sign on your doorknob that says, “Enter at Your Own Risk.”.
6. Your telephone requires dialing and is also pink
7. There is a distinct odor in the air that says, “I’m moldy and feeling fine.”.
8. The television set in your room is in black and white. It also doesn’t work.
9. There is a book in your bedroom drawer that says, “How to Make Out Your Will.”.
10. The toilet cannot be flushed. The water faucet leaks. The lighting in your room flickers.