Twenty-five Things to Do When You Can’t Sleep

Eat. I know, I know. Eating just because you are bored isn’t healthy. But it is delicious.

Read a good book. This could include any genre that strikes your fancy. Perhaps a self-help book on stopping the practice of binge eating.

Take a walk in the dark and pretend you are looking for vampires. Keep your stake hidden though, or someone will call the cops.

On line courses. Pass a class and get your degree as you fail to sleep.

Dance in your underwear and sunglasses just like Tom Cruise in that movie. You know the one.

Try to remember movie titles from the 80’s, particularly ones from John Hughes, because that guy rocked.

Watch Looney Toon cartoons, especially the ones that have ‘culture’ like the Marriage of Figaro. You can pretend that you are bettering yourself and have a good laugh.

Make fudge, then jump back up to the top of this list.

Make brownies, any kind will do, then jump back up to the top of this list.

Video Games. The sole reason for existence just might be the ongoing Halo games, may they never grow old and tired.

Online RPGs are good too, like World of War Craft, Everquest or any of those other new ones.

Jigsaw puzzles. Not just for your grandmother.

Learn to play a musical instrument. Not only will you be bettering yourself, but you will make new friends as the police come to your door to deal with the noise complaints from your neighbors.

Become a super hero, patrolling the late night streets for evil doers in a cape and fancy outfit made on your Mom’s old Singer sewing machine. Just like Spiderman.

Catch up on the comic books you used to read as a kid. Most of them are easily accessible online.

Find an open Catholic Church. If you are in a large urban center you are probably in luck. Even if you are not Catholic, go in. It is almost always peaceful, quiet, filled with incense. Man, I’m getting sleepy just thinking about it.

Legos. I don’t care how old you are, legos are cool.

Shell nuts. Not only are you doing something repetitive, and hopefully sleep inducing, but it is productive too. They also go good in brownies. Top of the list.

Get on a random chat room and pretend to be someone you are not. Pretend to be someone famous, just for a moment, and see what happens. Don’t be creepy though, and stay away from little boys and girls.

Exercise, particularly if you started at the top of the list. It may not make you sleepy, but a stationary bike to nowhere can still be a good ride.

Play Farmville. That’s almost like sleeping.

Get on Facebook and post comments on all of your friends updates. Every. Single. One.

Sex. I won’t get into here as this is a PG list.

Write lovely haiku. They’re really easy to write. Five, Seven and Five. (See what I did there?)

Write silly lists. Like this one. http://purpleslinky.com/humor/new-years-resolutions-for-kids/ Or this one. http://quazen.com/games/ten-reasons-not-to-get-out-of-bed-today/ Or this one. http://socyberty.com/advice/top-ten-reasons-to-get-out-of-bed/ or http://healthmad.com/home-health/five-hangover-cures/