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Twenty Things That You Should Not Say to a Female Cannibal

Published by Steven West in Humor
May 16, 2008

A hilarious take on what you should not say when you are with a female cannibal.

  1. “Hey good looking, what’s cooking?”
  2. “I’ve put on a few pounds recently. I hope you don’t mind.”.
  3. “Why are you smacking your lips while looking over my body?”
  4. “Would you like to carve the turkey? No? Is there something else that you would like to carve instead?”
  5. “Are you a vegetarian?”
  6. “So you don’t like my work in the office. All I can say is just EAT ME!”
  7. “I know that you said the food is finger licking good. However, why do you have a finger sticking out of your mouth?”
  8. “Would you like to nibble on my ear?”
  9. “Would you like to feel my muscles?”
  10. “Why do they call you Bloody Mary?”
  11. “I’m sorry you lost the contest. But hey, it’s no skin off my back.”.
  12. “When we have dinner tonight, would you prefer a leg or a thigh?”
  13. “There you go again putting your foot in your mouth. Wait a minute, you’re putting my foot in your mouth.”.
  14. “My back really aches. Could you massage my back? What’s that? You have other ideas for my back?”
  15. “What’s with all the spices? Are you planning to season something tonight? Why are you looking at me like I’m a slab of beef?”
  16. “Honey, please give me a nice haircut. You can take a little off the top.”.
  17. “Why do you want to watch the Silence of the Lamb tonight?”
  18. “You should bite your tongue when you make such rude comments. What’s that? You would prefer to bite my tongue instead?”
  19. “I wish that I could lose some of this belly fat. Do you have any suggestions?”
  20. “Never bite the hand that feeds you. Why are you holding my hand so tightly?”

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2 Comments

  1. mimpi
    Posted May 17, 2008 at 3:04 am

    Nice!

  2. Phillip B Hughes Jr
    Posted May 20, 2008 at 5:38 pm

    that was funny i enjoyed it

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