Whale Oil: The Arizona Whale Wars

Whale Oil on the Hoof

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by LewSethics

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“Tony Barone and Chai Pientowski here at the Whaling Jennings Harpoon, not ten leagues from The Willy Works, where we had just finished our interview with Captain Mermann Helville, (see http://purpleslinky.com/humor/whale-oil-not-just-for-breakfast-anymore/).

“It seems that we were witness to an escape attempt when we were ushered out of the Willy Works, so we drove down the main stretch until we discovered the Whaling Jennings Harpoon, a most unusual business establishment, combining everything from a fine restaurant and hotel with a full service auto station, to a sporting goods store focusing on Land Whaling, Wind Surfing, and Sunburn Science.  We soothed our bruised ego with these very tall Moby Dicks, drinks guaranteed to take the legs out from under you.  Before we begin with the interviews, I would like to comment that the way we were evicted from the Willy Works was unbelievable.  What do you think, Chai?”

“Unbelievable, Tony.”

“There you have it.  Well, the motif here is Whale.  In the middle of the Arizona Desert.  The first thing that comes to mind is; what goofy s-o-b thought up Whaling in the Desert?  We have with us The Skipper, manager of this twilight zone.  Skip, What we…”

“Dunna call me Skip!”

“Uh, OK then, Skippey, we..”

“Ni Bdeidh tu glaoch orm Skippey ach oiread!!!  An gcaithfidh me Cuma mhaith ar chineal eigin de theif chathair mhadra?!!”

“Yeah, right, here’s some tissue; you have some froth on you.  

“So.   Sitting, and I use that term loosely, in the other chair is “Mr. Mystery”, a self proclaimed legend and sometime rebel, who, to all appearances, looks very  much like a sperm whale wearing wraparound sunglasses, t-shirt and jeans.  I know its dark in here, but you still look likeone of those experiments up the road, at Willy’s.”

“SOUND TWEET TWEET SOUND RUMBLE HONK CLICK CLICK”

“Ok.”

“SOUND TWEET TWEET SOUND RUMBLE HONK CLICK CLICK!!”