What to do in a Zombie Attack

This guide is for both the old-skool zombies that are slow and stupid as well as the new zombies that are fast and slightly smarter.

Step 1: Pre-Zombie Attack

You should always be checking out various news sites and even check the trending topics on Twitter to determine possible zombie pandemics.  Look for signs like rabies like virus quickly spreading or ultra killing disease does not completely kill after all.

You should also stock up on emergency supplies such as food, water, various time killers, etc…

Step 2:  Initial Wave

The first wave of zombies are usually the ones that determine how long the zombie pandemic will last. Before you are attacked go to the highest level of the nearest building/house but be sure to bring food, water, some buckets to collect rain water, possibly a handgun, and some sort of rope or grappling device with you. Then destroy the stairs so the zombies have no way up. At this point you should be safe for as long as your food and water lasts you. Immediately assign everyone something to do so they do not go insane with boredom and lay out rain collecting buckets.

If you have no type of building to get to then find whatever weapon you can and fast, chances are if you have been checking news topics you should be relatively prepared but incase you aren’t then prepare for the hardest part of your life, unless you went through pregnancy in which case this will be the second hardest. Try to meet up with other people on the ground and find a building to go into (as long as it’s not filled with zombies). If the people you are with are showing signs of zombie-ism you should whack them on the head with something and kill them because you can never be too sure.

Step 3:  Next Wave

This wave of zombies is usually much much bigger, or much much smaller. Either way it is essentially the same as the first wave but your supplies may be running a bit low. For extra food you have to resort to cannibalism at some point. To make it fair to decide who you are going to eat first then you can have a rock-paper-scissors tournament, the overall loser gets eaten, or if you have a board game with you play that, and eat the loser.

If you are alone do not resort to eating your poopies. You must find a location that has clean food. If the electrical grid is still up then a refrigerator is a gold mine. The problem is getting the food without the zombies noticing and getting back up to your safe spot. This may seem silly but throw one of your poopies in an area to distract the zombies. If the zombies are stupid enough to fall for it then hurry down and get some food but do not forget your rope. When you get food throw it up to your safe spot then climb back up at pat yourself on the back.

This step may repeat for many times, but it is the final step in the Zombie Attack guide.

Notes:

Do NOT get a safe spot in the middle of the lake, contrary to popular belief, zombies can swim.
Zombies are easy to detect by they’re unusual walking habits, pale skin, and tendency to drool a lot.
Zombies have trouble walking on moving things such as escalators, or party boats.
Bringing reading material with you to your safe house is always a good thing to do, books can provide entertainment, as well as fire material.