OK, so most of you die-hard fans will be like “Batman can’t be gay, crazy woman! Take your hate crimes somewhere else!” and if I’ve offended you I’m very sorry. But suspend reality for a moment and think of alternate universe Batman and Joker, where the rules are a little different…

Firstly, think about the fact that they can never bring themselves to kill each other. They hurt each other plenty, but neither of them can strike a killing blow and end it all because they need each other. The Joker needs someone to rile against and Batman needs someone to keep at bay. They’re two sides of the same coin, like a yin yang.

Both characters share a similar experience in their pasts that made them the way they are. Batman’s parents were killed in front of him so he decided to fight evil – but is the underlying cause here a need for revenge? Not to save the innocent, but to punish the wicked? The Joker on the other hand lost his wife and unborn child and was then forced into a crime he didn’t want to commit and, to top it all off, was horribly disfigured (that’s my favourite origin story, anyway). It’s been implied that the Batman is just as crazy as the Joker, only his insanity is channelled in a direction that benefits society so nobody looks the gift horse in the mouth. Batman himself even worries that he is belongs in Arkham Asylum. And seriously, the man dresses up like a bat, there’s definitely something wrong going on.

I believe that both of the characters sense this similarity in each other. Batman sees what he might have become and hates himself for it, so he takes it out on the Joker. The Joker sees what Batman still has a chance to become if someone pushes him far enough and has made it his life’s work to do so.

And anyone who’s read a lot of Batman comics will have seen the affectionate way the Joker talks to Batman – like he’s a big, deadly puppy of some kind. And there’s plenty of innuendo, I have the feeling that the Joker would consider it a mighty victory to make the Batman fall for him. Oh, how the mighty have fallen – its the ultimate corruption if you think about it. That alone is reason enough for the Joker to try something. As for Batman, he’s always portrayed as having girlfriends that come and go, but no-one can ever understand the world that he’s a part of. No-one can understand the sickening capabilities of man and Batman’s pervasive pathology but the Joker, because he’s at the centre of all this. Strange as it sounds, he knows what Batman is going through. They both hid themselves away in a cocoon of insanity as a coping mechanism to deal with a loss too great for the mind to bear.

So through a pathological need for each other and shared understanding, I believe that they would make a great couple. Also they’re both really hot.