Why the Heck Not, forget about exercise:

            Well why not? America is already becoming obese, right? Being skinny isn’t normal anymore. You don’t want to be the odd man out. And besides, it takes to long to run for 20min a day. To long. To stinking long! So don’t bother. You’ll become fat. But you knew that. I warned you. I told you. Now you’re fat. Your fat and you can’t find a husband or wife because no one wants to look at you. Your life is miserable. You read the first article and at least you don’t live with your mom. But know you live alone! And this will all lead to being miserable for the rest of your life. Not my fault.

Why the Heck Not, lick the bowl:

            You’re fat. Heck yea, you’re already fat. So hey licking the brownie batter out of the bowl isn’t that bad. Oh uh! You made brownies! You’re not dieting either, and you’re going to lick the bowl. Don’t do it. You’ll crave it more often. You’re not exercising so you can’t burn off all those calories. Your going to put your self in a the hole of obesity, and you’re going to get too big to get out. Because you’re stuck! You licked the bowl and ate all that bad stuff on the top of the food triangle. Not my fault, I warned you.

Why the Heck Not, buy some bigger pants:

            Well let’s see, your fat, your stuck in the hole of obesity, now what. You don’t fit in your old pear of jeans anymore. So go buy some new ones. Size, umm, let me think, umm, 64! You may have to special order them. Oh well. But don’t do it. Start exercising. Get better. Get fit. Get a LIFE. But you are thinking “it takes to long to rune for 20min each day”. Okay. Have it your way. Buy the jeans. Spend your money on something you could’ve avoided, and still can. Go for it. But it will only make it all that much harder to get back in shape.

Why the Heck Not, take my warnings:

            I told you earlier America is becoming completely obese and you just join the crew. You’re fat!!! Ha ha! Not my fault! You walk down the street in your size 64 jeans and people just laugh. Because not everyone is fat. Only a small percent of Americans are fat. Woops, that is my fault, I didn’t tell you that. Oh well. It’s too late for you now. You should’ve taken my warnings. That’s not my fault! Your fat and it’s your fault. Good job.