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Do you need an attorney? Who doesn’t need an attorney for some legal matter? Of course, attorneys charge a lot for their services. Here are ten humorous fortune cookie sayings with lawyers in mind:

1. If the suit fits, sue tomorrow.
2. You are about to come into a tidy fortune. Just ignore the banana peel on the marble floor until it is too late.
3. Would you like some black forest tort cake? I see. You would prefer just the tort.
4. You are about to learn more about cell technology. It is so fascinating that the subject will just imprison you.
5. Divorcing yourself from reality may not lessen your cost from your imminent divorce.
6. Beware of a guy named Mal. This is particularly true if his last name is Practice.
7. People shouldn’t judge you by your appearance unless you are picked out of a lineup.
8. Betty Lou would sure love to court you. However, if you  become unfaithful, she’ll see you in court.
9. You cannot replace your batteries in a case of assault and battery.
10. If you are drunk as a skunk and drive, you just might find yourself making the evening news by five.