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These are five random ways to get lots of cash in a little bit of time. *Results may Vary*

Sell your soul on eBay

You may think no one would want to buy your soul, but I’ve posted mine and got a around 150 bucks for it. Just make sure not to mention when they can get your soul. If you don’t want to sell your soul because your a religious nut just sell some of your junk.

Dance for money

I recommend getting a monkey and then putting it in a suit and give it a cup. Then play music so the monkey dances and collects money for you.If you can’t find a monkey just dress up like a hobo and lie on the sidewalk, people are sure to give you money.Oh and if you steal….I mean get the monkey give it a random name like Bozo or Stella. Those names might sound like names of old hookers but trust me more people will want to give the monkey money.

Note: the monkey might run away, so remember to give it a few bananas.

Become a stripper

Come on, whats easier then taking of your clothes for money but if you do follow this path it could lead to 1 of the following:

1. You get kidnapped by some fat old guy
2. People try to have there way with you, if you don’t know what that means, oh well
3. You get kidnapped and a fat old guy has their way with you.

Become a hooker

This is very different from being a stripper as shown above. If you do this you will actually be getting laid and getting money at the same time, now whats better than that. Unpleasant side effects are crabs,herpes and a whole other list of STD but if you wear a rubber these are a thing of the past. Oh and you might get arrested in case I didn’t mention it.

Become a test subject for a drug facility

Hey all you have to do is sign a some document and pop a few pills. The pills may shorten your lifespan but hey what do you care you will be getting up to two thousand dollars a week. Whats a few side effects when your getting money. In a couple of months you’ll be either really rich or dead but hey we all got to take a risk sometimes.

This was just meant to be a joke so don’t take it seriously.