Resume | PurpleSlinky

Resume

Published by Brad Esta in Work
July 18, 2008

A funny little resume.

My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory, but I got canned. Couldn’t concentrate.
Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the axe.
After that, I tried being a Tailor, but wasn’t suited for it — mainly because it was a sew-sew job.
Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but that was too exhausting.
Then, tried being a Chef – figured it would add a little spice to my life, but just didn’t have the thyme.
Next, I attempted being a Deli Worker, but any way I sliced it… couldn’t cut the mustard.
My best job was a Musician, but eventually found I wasn’t noteworthy.
I studied a long time to become a Doctor, but didn’t have any patience.
Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. Tried hard but just didn’t fit in.
I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered I couldn’t live on my net income.
Managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company, but the work was just too draining.
So then I got a job in a Workout Center, but they said I wasn’t fit for the job.
After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a Historian – until I realized there was no future in it.
My last job was working in Starbucks, but had to quit because it was always the same old grind.
So, i tried retirement and found i’m perfect for the job!

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